Courtesy of Fox News Las Vegas – “(AP/MEREDITH) — The Flamin’ Hot Cheeto that resembled Harambe the gorilla has sold for nearly $100,000 on eBay.
Bidding on the cheese snack the seller said he found in a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos began at $11.99 on Jan. 28. It ended early Tuesday morning with a winning bid of $99,900. The listing showed a picture of the Cheeto side-by-side with a gorilla climbing a tree.
Ever since being killed after grabbing a child that fell into his pen at the Cincinnati Zoo, Harambe has been a hero of Internet memes, immortalized as a cultural icon and reaching near-deity status. And now he could become the savior of one seller’s bank account.
If you want your chance to bid on a Cheeto that looks like a famous gorilla, you better hurry. Bidding ends early Tuesday morning.”
Gone, but not forgotten. Forever R.I.P. sweet prince. I’m glad to see that people out there still respect such a legendary martyr. Would I spend $11.99 on this Cheeto? You bet. I’m willing to bet there’s a lot of guys like me out there – and that’s probably how this thing got so out of hand.
First, you’re like, “$12?? That ain’t so bad!” but everyone else thinks the same thing so they keep putting in $1-raised bids. Before you know it, it becomes a competition, and you’ve invested too much time and too many resources into getting this Harambe Cheeto. You have to commit – but, you’re bidding with people JUST as competitive as you are, so no one’s willing to back off.
Before you know it, one of you has cleared your savings, donated a kidney, and sold one of your children to a Mexican drug cartel to cover the expense.
But, hey – that’s what it takes to get a Harambe Cheeto. At least, that’s how I’m envisioning this thing going down. It makes the most sense, therefore it must be true. Occam’s Razor.
By the way, this isn’t some hokey internet scam. That Cheeto looks JUST LIKE Harambe. Does it not? Am I wrong? Let me double check – yep, double checked and guess what. I can’t tell which one is the Cheeto and which one is the fucking gorilla.
Also worth noting here – you have to have the vision of a hawk to spot this, don’t you? Half the time I’m eating chips, I’m not even looking at ’em. Just relentlessly shoving them down my pie hole. God knows what kind of money I could’ve made – a Dorito that looks like Babe Ruth, a Golden Flakes Sweet Heat potato chip that resembles Alf’s penis, a piece of popcorn that looks like Albert Einstein, there’s just no telling.
Regardless, I’m just happy to see that people remember this sweet, innocent angel. I hope those parents still feel like shit. I actually hope they never find peace with this incident and it haunts them for the rest of their lives.
I don’t know, maybe that’s a bit strong. Maybe that’s a bit hateful. But, what can I say? I’m a gorillanist. Gorilla rights.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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