When Randy Orton sent The Wyatt Family’s compound (read: dilapidated shed in the woods) up in flames last Tuesday night, the road to Wrestlemania 33 literally got lit. Then, Fastlane, and an overall exhausting Raw product, came along with a metaphorical fire extinguisher and doused the flames.
I have been, and remain, pretty optimistic about this year’s “Show of Shows,” but last night’s event made the Raw side of Wrestlemania look a little weak, nonsensical, and convoluted. That being said, if you take out the big picture of Wrestlemania, and look at Fastlane in a vacuum, it wasn’t as bad of a show as wrestling Twitter would lead you to believe.
Pre-show: Akira Tozawa and Rich Swann def. Brian Kendrick & Noam Dar – fine match to get the show going. Tozawa is getting over, Kendrick is an oddball, and Dar is slimy and creepy. The cruiserweights are finally developing depth. Maybe they’ll finally start getting over. If WWE wants to run a multi-man ladder match at Wrestlemania, this is the spot for it – Neville, Gallagher, Tozawa, Swann, Kendrick, Dar, & Perkins.
Main Card
Samoa Joe def. Sami Zayn – Great way to kick off Fastlane. Samoa Joe looked strong and in control of the match. Nobody not named Dolph Ziggler sells as well as Zayn. This was the perfect way to introduce Samoa Joe to pay-per-view.
Raw Tag Team Championship: Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows def. Enzo & Big Cass – I said halfway through this match, “this is going like every other Enzo & Cass match.” These guys are in danger of losing some of their momentum. In part, due to that awful program with Rusev. In part, due to the predictable nature of all of their matches. Still, not too shabby of a showing. With a controversial finish, it keeps the program going into Wrestlemania. Whether it’s a straight up two-on-two stipulation match or a multi-team match, it looks like both of these teams will be involved.
Sasha Banks def. Nia Jax – Perfect way to keep both of these ladies fresh in the title picture – a rare case of 50/5o booking working for a greater cause.
Cesaro def. Jinder Mahal – This is where the show got hairy. And, oddly enough, I thought this was a really good match. So much so that I thought, “man – are they going to push Mahal now?” But, no – Cesaro won clean. Again, not a bad match, but why the hell are we doing this?
Big Show def. Rusev – Now that his former tag team partner was beaten, it was Rusev’s turn to battle a mystery opponent. What ensued was nearly 10 minutes of Handsome Rusev being obliterated by the Big Show. Not sure why we didn’t just get Rusev vs. Mahal to begin with, but this whole bit seemed like nothing more than nearly 20 minutes of filler.
Cruiserweight Championship: Neville def. Gentleman Jack Gallagher – Easily the match of the night. These guys threw their bodies all over the ring. Neville did a masterful job of acting appalled and stunned by Gallagher’s fighting spirit. Gallagher was excellent as the underdog who outperformed expectations. Fabulous story-telling, fabulous execution – the two best characters in the Cruiserweight Division going at it.
Roman Reigns def. Braun Strowman – This match was awesome, plain and simple. It was a classic brawl, loaded with exceptional ring psychology. Strowman could not put Reigns away, so he took an incredible risk, diving off the top rope. He missed, Reigns capitalized, and got the win. Bravo, gentlemen. So, what’s my gripe? Oh, I don’t know – maybe building up Strowman for months to lose clean AT FASTLANE. This was a Wrestlemania-caliber bout. Seeing a 400-pound man careening off the top rope is a Wrestlemania type of moment – something we’ve never seen before from Strowman.
But, nope – let’s run this AT FASTLANE. Now, Strowman is going to be just fine. I’d be willing to bet he goes on to Wrestlemania to win the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, and will go on to hold the Universal Championship within the next year or two. But, I guess this win makes Reigns look good for a match opposite The Undertaker? That’s an entirely different issue.
Reigns eliminated ‘Taker from the Royal Rumble. That’s all we have so far. If that’s truly what triggers this program, then that’s lazy writing. Those are the rules of the match! Undertaker was eliminated fair and square. Is that what the Dead Man has been reduced to? A spoiled brat whining about losing and taking it out on the guy who threw him out clean? Why should I be cheering for that? Or, is that the point? Has WWE Jedi mind-tricked me into rooting for Reigns?
That being said, nothing has happened yet. So, who knows? Maybe they don’t pull the trigger on it. Again, I’m remaining optimistic about this year’s Wrestlemania.
Raw Women’s Championship: Bayley def. Charlotte Flair – I don’t even know where to begin with this. Undoubtedly, the worst match of the night. Both women seemed off, like they had no chemistry whatsoever. To top it off, Sasha Banks clearly interfered in the match, but the referee inexplicably did not call for the disqualification. Bayley wins, and the pay-per-view streak that had been building for well over a year was ended…..AT. FASTLANE. If the streak wasn’t really a big deal, why did Bayley win the title on a random episode of Raw? I thought that was the big moment they were building for Wrestlemania? Now, it’s gone.
The only way to salvage this is to induce more chaos – have Bayley relinquish the championship, and have every woman in the division with a claim for a title shot involved. That instantly sets up the four-way match at Wrestlemania. No clue how else this is going to go.
Universal Championship: Goldberg def. Kevin Owens – Over in 22 seconds, lolololol. Y’know, for all of the faux rage going around today, I had no problem whatsoever with this. We all knew Goldberg was getting the title, and really, it didn’t make sense for him to crush Brock Lesnar, but then struggle with Owens. A few things were accomplished by this happening:
1. The Wrestlemania main event is set, and the Universal Championship needed it. I love Owens – he’s among pro wrestling’s elite, but let’s not act like his booking as champion has elevated the Universal Championship. It was six months of fine matches, but controversial interference finishes. Now, it’s going to be the ultimate prize in a bout between two of WWE’s all-time greatest (kayfabe) juggernauts at the biggest show of the year.
2. Owens was actually protected in a weird way. The return of Chris Jericho and subsequent distraction of Owens served to both advance their feud and give Owens a crutch. Now, he can say the ref rang the bell when he wasn’t ready
3. Advanced Mick Foley’s exit. Remember earlier in the show when Stephanie McMahon told Foley that the two title matches better go off without a hitch? Well, guess what – both title matches went off with HUGE hitches. That’s going to be used in the ultimate demise of Foley as Raw GM.
Of course, the main criticism coming out of Fastlane is the dreaded push of the part-timer. I get the gripe. It happened to CM Punk (twice). It happened to Daniel Bryan once, almost twice if not for the Yes Movement. Now, it’s happened to Owens. Still, my favorite guys don’t have to have world titles for them to be my favorites.
Owens-Jericho is going to be awesome. Just like Punk-Undertaker was awesome, like Punk-Jericho was awesome, so on and so forth. It doesn’t make much of a difference to me. But, for WWE, it means they can milk Goldberg’s miracle run into more mainstream attention.
Friends that hadn’t watched wrestling in years reached out to me when Goldberg returned. Fellow writers acknowledge that pieces about Goldberg get more clicks than pieces about our indy darlings. The crowds are hot for Goldberg, so I have no problem with it whatsoever. Wrestlemania very obviously does not mean what it used to mean.
In its greatest incarnations, Wrestlemania was about the matches, the storylines, and the moments. For the past few years, Wrestlemania has become more about the overall spectacle. It’s like the WWE just assumes we’re all going to watch Wrestlemania because it’s Wrestlemania (by the way, they’re right). They’re tailoring it to the casual fans – people who haven’t invested six months’ worth of time into an Owens title run.
Face it – we’re never going to see Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn headline a Wrestlemania. Until that gets through to you, you’re simply not going to enjoy WWE.
Now, that that’s off my chest, let me just clarify my main gripes with how Raw is heading into Wrestlemania.
Primarily, two of their most important story-telling devices have been eliminated. Charlotte’s pay-per-view streak is over, and Strowman has now been pinned clean. What are they going to come up with to replace these? Anything? If not, we’re headed for another Wrestlemania 32 type of event.
Second, there’s a general lack of direction across the majority of the roster. Outside of Goldberg-Lesnar and Jericho-Owens, there’s no clear program in motion. Again, nothing has happened onscreen to set up Reigns-Undertaker. The women’s scene is a mess. And, the tag teams and cruiserweights have no obvious direction. Even what was once thought to be a lock in Rollins-Triple H is in jeopardy.
That begs the question: does Triple H have to wrestle? I mean, you have Haitch, Rollins, Samoa Joe, and potentially Finn Balor all tied up in this waiting game. Even if Rollins is cleared, reports suggest it’ll be for nothing more than a segment and not an official match. So, do we really need to see a sloppily, thrown-together match between Triple H and Finn Balor or Samoa Joe? I’m okay without it.
But, hey – with all of this being said, I’m still optimistic for a good show. Smackdown Live is killing it with The Wyatt Family storyline, Styles-Shane, and Ambrose-Corbin. Goldberg-Lesnar will be alright, and Owens-Jericho will deliver. The battle royal is always fun, and I’m sure we’re going to get some fun undercard matches.
I sat and watched last night’s show with family. We ate pizza, kicked back a cold Bud Light, laughed at Enzo and Gentleman Jack, marveled at Strowman jumping off the top rope, and just generally had a good time regardless of what was happening. That’s what it’s all about, folks – bringing people together.
That isn’t going to change on account of some booking decisions we disagree with. Don’t lose sight of that.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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