You know, you can’t really tell how far you’ve come until you revisit where you started. I try to live by that mantra all the time. Every now and then, I like to pop ol’ Top Gun into the VCR. Just the other day, I watched Wrestlemania III. Sometimes, I’ll go to the grocery, buy some Gerber, and pop a top on that sumbitch – all for the sake of appreciating what I have and what I am today.
That’s why when I saw this headline, I immediately knew it was my type of story. I’ve always said living in the past is the best way to proceed through life. Those that don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat. That’s why I literally never do something bad twice. I learn from history. But, at the same time, the best way to learn from history is to constantly relive it. I hope that made sense, but I’m a really good writer so I’m sure it did.
Not wanting to cheat by installing Windows 98 on current PC hardware, the intrepid retro software adventurer Oldtech81 decided to use a machine from the same period. He settled on a Compaq Armada e500 laptop, which looks like a massive chunk of flagstone. After some issues getting the computer to actually boot up properly — no surprises there — he was able to run the outdated OS just fine.
Hot damn, I haven’t heard the term “Compaq” in probably 15 years. I also didn’t realize we actually had laptops that old. Maybe it’s because I was a stupid 12-year old…which isn’t self deprecating. I mean it. Humans don’t develop functioning brains until they become adults at 18. As a stupid 12-year old, I thought computers were just the next fad, no different from pogs or The Wild Thornberrys.
But, man – Windows 98….look at you, aging like a fine wine of operating systems. Firing right up like you haven’t aged a day. I love it.
Then came the big test: using the computer for day-to-day work and leisure. Against all odds, the extremely old Compaq and Windows 98 were able to offer a pretty respectable experience. Listening to music and watching movies was still as easy as it was back in 1998, and basic apps like Word and Excel still worked fine, which isn’t really much of a surprise.
I mean, really – what else do you even need a computer for? Everyone knows that there’s really not much use for a computer outside of listening to music and watching “movies.” Of course, when people say they watch movies on their computer, they mean porn..it’s always porn.
The real challenge, of course, was attempting to browse the web, and that’s where things got a bit hairy. Once KernelEx was installed for expanded compatibility, the machine was able to run Opera 11, giving it some decent web browsing chops. However, Gmail and YouTube still didn’t load up correctly, which is a bit of a bummer, but using YouTube download sites like KeepVid allowed him to save the videos right to the computer and then play them locally. On top of that, many sites like Reddit and various forums were perfectly usable.
Uhhhh….sorry, BGR…not to kill your credibility or anything but not being able to use Gmail or YouTube is more than a bummer. It’s a deal-breaker. Nice try mentioning Reddit to try and get me to stick around, but nope – I’m out. Fuck 1998.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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