It Is Time to Drop the Hammer on the Dancing Granny Epidemic

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It’s 2017, and there are issues plaguing the planet left and right. What we do here at The SoBros Network is hit the hard issues. I’m here to say…..that’s exactly what I wanted to do today. Maybe crack a few jokes along the way, too.

I’m a big proponent of freedom and fun, so when I saw this story, I immediately wanted to come in swinging at The Man for trying to shut these grannies down. But, as the story progressed, I had a change of heart.

That’s the mark of being an informed citizen, people. When presented with new information, it’s okay to change your mind on an issue. Otherwise, there’s no point in even consuming new information, ya dig?

Anyway, read the story and make your own call…

Full story over on CNN:

Wherever there is open space in China, you find grannies strutting their stuff.

The women, usually retirees, meet at dusk and dawn in public squares, plazas or parks and perform synchronized dance routines to deafeningly-loud music — often with costumes or props.
Public dancing has exploded in popularity in China as these women — and a few men — look for low-cost ways to stay fit and socialize.
 I read “grannies strutting their stuff,” and just felt an ocean of emotion, tbh. I was happy to hear of grannies still feeling happy enough to strut their stuff. I was filled with hope that when I’m old, I’ll still feel like dancing. I was intrigued to hear that dancing in public is now a popular activity. And, learned of a newer, cheaper alternative to eating pizza on a treadmill at Planet Fitness.
State-run news agency Xinhua estimates Ma and her counterparts may number as many as 100 million and these “dama” as they are called in Chinese, have even taken their hobby overseas.
In 2014, groups of dama were photographed dancing en masse outside the Louvre in Paris and shimmying in Moscow’s Red Square — much to the consternation of some, who thought they were giving China a bad name.
The dancing grannies have also faced a backlash at home.
Irritated by the music blasted out of loudspeakers, residents who live in the vicinity of popular dance spots have unleashed dogs on them and even thrown faeces.
You know, I’m no expert on Chinese culture, but if your homeland is saying you’re giving them a bad name, they know better than I do. Personally, I don’t think elderly women dancing in public gives ANYTHING a bad name, but what do I know?
Theeeeeeeeen, I read that they’re blaring music where people live. That’s a deal-breaker, ya old bats. That’s invading my quiet time. That I can’t support. Am I going to unleash my dog or throw my shit at them? Probably not.
First of all, my dog wouldn’t do shit. My dog would see the horde of grannies and run back to me. So, that would be an ineffective way to fight off the elder mob. Second, I just don’t like the idea of throwing any kind of shit at anyone.
From March 1, dancers in Beijing will be subject to fines and other penalties if they’re found to have disturbed public order.
The new citywide regulation reads: “People must organize fitness activities without disturbing public order.”
I think exercise without disturbance is a pretty reasonable thing to ask for. If the dancing grannies have a problem with that, well, then, they’re just flat out inconsiderate.
The bigger problem, Zhang said, is a lack of public amenities for the elderly.
According to the UN, China is aging faster than anywhere else in the world. By 2030, there will be an estimated 360 million Chinese over the age of 60. It remains a challenge for the government to provide the old with public sports facilities.
“We hope the government can provide us healthier public spaces,” Zhang said.

Yeah, this might be a problem, China. Better get on that before there’s a revolution. It’s like the Terminator, but old dancing grannies are Skynet. I think that’s an appropriate metaphor.

Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@PFSpot@WrestlingNewsCo@Bama_Hammer

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