Times are pretty tense these days, with the impending onslaught of World War III and all. Which, by the way, are we doing Roman numerals for World Wars? It’s like the Super Bowl, right? Only the biggest events are documented with Roman numerals.
Courtesy of USA Today by way of msn ’cause thank God msn is still kicking:
Three Islamic State militants setting up an ambush in a bitterly contested area of northern Iraq were killed by a herd of stampeding boars, local leaders say.
Sheikh Anwar al-Assi, a chief of the local Ubaid tribe and supervisor of anti-ISIS forces, told The Times of London the militants were hiding on the edge of a field about 50 miles southwest of Kirkuk when the boars overwhelmed them Sunday. Five other militants were injured, al-Assi said. He said the group was poised to attack a band of local tribesmen who had fled to nearby mountains since militants seized the town of Hawija three years ago.
“It is likely their movement disturbed a herd of wild pigs, which inhabit the area as well as the nearby cornfields,” he said.
Al-Assi said the militants had summarily executed 25 people attempting to flee the militant’s would-be caliphate in the three days before the boars attacked. Hawija, about 100 miles south of Mosul, sees dozens of residents flee to Kurdish Kirkuk daily, and the Iraqi military has planned to launch an offensive in the region after a laborious effort to liberate Mosul is completed.
I don’t know about you guys, but when all hell breaks loose, you’re damn right I want a pack of wild boars by my side.
It’s good to know that such a savage creature still has a strong moral compass. There’s America, and there’s WRONG. I’m happy that wild boars line up on the right end of the spectrum. That’s a real beast I can get behind (if you know what I mean…wait – no. That’s horrible context. I don’t want to imply that I would fuck a live, wild boar).
Anyway, I think they’ve proven themselves. It’s time we start arming these creatures. Put an automatic rifle in their hooves and see how much damage they can really do.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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