Somehow, it seems like we always end up on these stories of people sticking uncommon things in uncommon places, but you know what – we’re just here to report the news, so we’ve got to do our duty.
Why invest in an expensive vibrator when you might have one sitting on your pile of old gadgets?
Because of their strong vibration function, old Nokia “dumb” phones are getting new life as vibrators, according to a survey on female masturbation in India.
One hundred woman responded to the poll by Agents of Ishq, a project focused on sex, love and desire in India. And they had some surprising answers about how they achieve maximum satisfaction.
I love good heart-warming stories like this. Just…people in the world coming together to leave this big hunk of dirt, the third rock from the sun as Joe Diffie would call it, a better place than it was before we got here.
Have you heard the legends of the old Nokia phones? Haven’t you seen a meme in the last five years? You know that nothing in the galaxy can destroy ’em!
I’m pretty sure a Nokia phone could contain an Infinity Stone. Or, you know what!? Maybe Nokia phones were MADE FROM Infinity Stones! *GASP* What a time to be alive.
Regardless, you throw one of these things away and it’s just going to end up sitting in the Earth for the rest of eternity.
Thankfully, human life finds a way. Maybe humans are innately good after all – I’m getting a little emotional just typing this. It’s a thing of beauty to think of all of the women in India graciously masturbating with an old phone instead of letting said phone corrode the Earth from its core.
Heroes come in many forms, folks.
“The old Nokia vibrating phone made several appearances on this survey,” Agents of Ishq wrote earlier this month in a post about the survey, which was originally brought to our attention by Vocativ. “We have no idea why that company is not the market leader after this.”
Nokia did not respond immediately to a request for a comment regarding the secret sensual lives of its phones.
They don’t have time respond to this! They’re busy making phone dildos! Come on, cnet – also, shout out to cnet for still existing! Good on you guys.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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