I realize what I’m about to propose is going to offend a lot of people. But, it’s time we’re honest with ourselves. The Star Wars franchise is pretty bad. Whenever The Force Awakens came out, I decided it was time to catch up on the first six installments of the saga. The First Lady had yet to see any of ’em, and I thought it was a great way to bond and revisit something that was so fond from my childhood years.
And, I came away from that series of late night binge watches feeling betrayed by my younger self. Even as a kid, how could I fall for something so dumb? I assume it’s because I was sucked in by the glow and the buzz of a lightsaber. I enjoyed the wide array of characters – not because they were interesting, mind you – but because they looked cool and different. I was a stupid, stupid child.
Nowadays, I stay incredibly busy and I stay incredibly stressed out. When I go to see a movie, I don’t truly unwind unless it can suck me out of reality (not sexual innuendo – I just didn’t know how else to say it). So, with high hopes, your boy went to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 over the weekend – let the opening weekend crowd die down a bit, and I figure it’s a much easier viewing experience. It was – boo yah.
I was blown away. Completely and wholly – to the point where “I” no longer existed. I was a mere part of the Guardians of the Galaxy mythos….a spectator hanging over the unfolding events. They’ve really done a masterful job with this franchise, and an interesting thought crossed my mind on the way home from the theater that night…
This intergalactic space adventure franchise is infinitely better than that Star Wars crap.
Many of you will take me to task on this, but I assure you, I’ve thought this through, and I definitely have my reasons.
First, the characters in GOTG are complex and interesting. Star Wars is so boring when it comes to the high volume of characters. People are good or bad, and hardly anyone has a back story. Even Han Solo, as “interesting” as he is compared to the rest of the characters, is a rogue who fits every applicable stereotype.
The entire ideology of what it means to be a Jedi vs. what it means to be a Sith is mind-boggling. It’s so cut and try, good versus evil. There’s no gray area in Star Wars lore – you’re either wholly good or wholly evil. That’s not how the world works, and even if it was, it’s the most boring story to watch. It makes the entire, grand mythology of Star Wars completely predictable.
The GOTG characters are much more versatile and, because of that, have a lot of room to develop. That allows them all to operate in that sweet spot between good and evil. It makes for a bigger story, which brings me to my next point. GOTG’s story is much larger and more intricate. Each character has his/her own motives and his/her own arc. All of the unique contributions come together to form this grand, sweeping story of a ragtag bunch of bandits traversing the galaxy for adventure. Starlord’s quest to find his father, the tenuous and/or violent relationship between Gamora and Nebula, Rocket’s pain met with Groot’s sweet, sweet tenderness, and Drax’s struggle to cope with his rage and his…intellectual…issues – no matter who is on screen, there’s never a boring moment. Factor in the comedic elements of the franchise, and it’s much more enjoyable and much less serious than Star Wars attempts to be (which is also laughable). GOTG knows it’s fun and embraces that.
Third, the acting is just plain better – holy shit, do I even need to write about this? Ep. 4-6 were atrocious – and sure, you can throw out the “it was good for the times” argument, but that’s not going to make me re-watch Star Wars today. I’m just over it. If you’re looking for something to take you out of this galaxy without rolling your eyes, GOTG is the way to go. It’s more relatable, more natural, funnier, and I might as well just come out say it…..better than Star Wars in every way.
Look – I’m not here to shame those of you who religiously enjoy Star Wars. I’m only to here to let those of you who, like me, aren’t all in on the Star Wars hype know that it’s okay. Stand up – fear not, you are not alone. It is okay to let the world know that you don’t accept its universal benevolence towards this franchise. You don’t have to simply go with the flow. And, hey – either way, at least it’s not Star Trek. That’s a whole different barrel of worms…or whatever that saying is.
Now, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go listen to “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” on repeat for the rest of the day.
<3
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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