Fight fire with fire, that’s what I say. Actually, I’m probably more of a “fight fire with nuclear weapons” type of guy, but I’m trying to be a better person despite being a strong advocate of drinking from the emptied skulls of our enemies. I’m kind of old-fashioned that way, but I’m realizing that vengeful barbarism isn’t the way anymore in 2017.
Hundreds of brides at an Indian mass wedding have been given wooden bats and urged to use them as weapons if their husbands turn abusive.
Messages such as “for use against drunkards” are written on the paddles, which measure about 40cm (15in) and are more traditionally used for laundry.
I love this move. Maybe it’s a bit extreme, but you know what – those asshole drunkards will probably think twice before they come in all hot and heavy trying to impose their will on a woman. Personally, I think they should talk shit through bats. Emblazon that thing with “come at me, skin at bones” or “eat wood, toothpick dick.” I can tell you that last one will shatter a man’s ego in a heartbeat. One look at that and every man on the planet is in tears. Then, you don’t even have whack his skull.
Gopal Bhargava, a state minister in Madhya Pradesh, said he wanted to highlight the issue of domestic abuse.
He told the women to try to reason with their husbands before using them.
But if their spouses refuse to listen, they should let the paddles – known as mogri and usually used to beat dirt out of clothes – “do the talking”, he said.
Walk tall and carry a big stick. That’s the premise for life in India, I guess. This whole thing feels like a wink and a nod, though. Like, “OF COURSE, you should try and talk to your husband, but *wink wink* here’s this big ass hunk of wood to really get your point across.”
“Women say whenever their husbands get drunk they become violent. Their savings are taken away and splurged on liquor,” he said.
“There is no intent to provoke women or instigate them to violence but the bat is to prevent violence.”
Again, it’s a wink and a nod. “OF COURSE we aren’t trying to instigate violence, but *wink wink* if it breaks out, use this hunk of wood and then drink from the emptied skull of your victim.”
Classic India!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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