Seems like folks in the Ukraine are starting to take notice of just how fierce Steven Seagal really is. It’s something us red-blooded Americans have known for decades. For some of us, hell – it’s all we’ve ever known. You just don’t mess with Seagal….not unless you have a death wish anyway.
Ukraine has banned American action movie star Steven Seagal as a national security threat, making him the latest of several cultural figures to be blacklisted.
The Ukrainian security service said it had forbidden Seagal entry to the country for five years, in a letter published by the news site Apostrophe. The service’s press secretary later confirmed the ban to other media.
The letter said such a decision is made when a person has “committed socially dangerous actions … that contradict the interests of maintaining Ukraine’s security”. The move comes after the actor received citizenship in Russia, which has backed separatists in a simmering conflict in eastern Ukraine. President Vladimir Putin handed Seagal a Russian passport and told him he hoped their “personal relationship will remain and continue” during a meeting in the Kremlin last year.
Seagal has clearly struck fear in the hearts of the people of Ukraine with his socially dangerous actions such as karate and wielding machine guns. I can’t really say that I blame them. Personally, I banned Seagal from my house in 2013 after realizing the kind of damage he could do in this tiny ass apartment. Can’t have that going on – not when I have to worry about my well-being and the well-being of my girlfriend, our recliner, and the vintage Tennessee Oilers flag that hangs in our dining room.
That was before Seagal developed his personal relationship with Putin. Now, I really can’t afford to have Seagal around my apartment. That might imply me in the eventual onset of World War 3. Could you imagine? Do you know how foolish I’d feel if I started World War 3 because American intelligence found out that Seagal was hanging around my apartment? No sir – not on my watch.
So, I totally get it, Ukraine. You gotta protect your own, you know? You do what you gotta do.
He has eaten carrots with “Europe’s last dictator” Alexander Lukashenko in Belarus, ridden a horse in a suit of armour at the Nomad Games in Kyrgyzstan and taken part in a traditional dance while visiting Chechnya strongman Ramzan Kadyrov.
Quick question – I’m trying to do my duty as a journalist here…did this happen simultaneously? It seems rather inconsequential to the story. I’m just enjoying the mental image of Seagal in a full suit of armor, riding a horse and eating carrots…presumably the baby carrots….before dancing with a bodybuilder.
He later played with his blues band at a concert in Crimea put on by a pro-Putin biker club, with the flag of eastern Ukraine separatists flying onstage.
What!? He plays in a blues band, too?!?! I’m beginning to re-think my ban on Seagal. He seems like a real Renaissance man…someone I could learn a thing or two from. Wow – we’ve really developed as humans over the course of this article.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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