Let’s face it, we all sweat. That’s how our bodies cool off. But unfortunately, some of us sweat worse than others. I, for example, might just be one of the sweatiest dudes you’ll ever meet. I’ve tried countless options of deodorant/antiperspirants, and have found that most of them are absolute shite. Summer has arrived, and it’s humid here in the South. I am in need of a serious product, so I decided to actually test a few with the best reputation. Now – believe me, I put these bastards through the ringer.
# 5. Right Guard Xtreme Defense 5
I hope the jerk that invented wet gel antiperspirants made millions off the idea, and is living it up south of the border somewhere, because this has to be the record for the longest running prank in the world. Seriously, how do you even pitch this idea? “So in order to prevent sweaty armpits, smear this cold, wet gel around.” Piss off. Putting a shirt on after applying this crap was the worst feeling next to sharting while standing at the urinal. PASS!
# 4. Arrid Extra Dry Clear Gel
If I hadn’t bought these all at once, this never would’ve made it to my shopping cart. The only thing that kept this deodorant ahead of Right Guard’s plastic tub of dog slobber was the fact that it didn’t make me smell like a 14 year old boy, and it almost kind of dried. Not a huge fan, but it’ll do in a pinch.
# 3. Degree for Men Motion Sense Dry Spray
At first, I thought the locking mechanism on this spray can was a tad unnecessary, but this stuff shoots out faster than teenage Spiderman on a date with Wonder Woman (too far? Sorry…). The product wasn’t awful, but the intensity of the blast made it difficult to control the amount of deodorant applied. Also, I found that if I didn’t allow it to completely dry before breaking a sweat, it got sticky….really sticky. Not good enough.
# 2. Degree for Men, Clinical Protection Sport Strength
I’ve got to hand it to the folks at Degree. They are making some good strides in tackling my sweaty world of daily living. This little bad boy comes in a twist-style container with a semi-dry paste pushed through several holes. It allowed for a nice, even coverage and dried quickly. On normal days, this retained most of the moisture, but even this wasn’t enough to tackle the full Tennessee outdoors. The only real drawbacks I found with this stick were the high price and small size. You almost had it.
# 1. Dove Men Care Dry Spray
Honestly, I never would’ve guessed that I’d find love in a spray can, but Dove nailed it with this product. Just as the label states, this spray “Goes on instantly dry”. It smells fresh, but not overly creepy-dude-at-the-gym strong. The fact that I could go a full day with minimal sweat seeping through my shirt blew my mind. Winner, winner chicken dinner.
Think you’ve got a better deodorant for me to try? I’m all ears, and my pits need all the friends they can get. Please help!
Cadbury Pringlebatch is the Lead Motorcycle Expert and Investment Analyst for The SoBros Network, but knows a little bit about everything. Known for frequenting Nashville YMCA steam rooms, he’s a firm believer that winning football is produced by moving the chains, and became a SoBro after mistaking one of our podcasts for an AA meeting. Follow on Twitter: @SoBroCadbury
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