Tank The 401k: Poppa Bear’s College Football Kickoff Bonanza

 In Tank the 401k

And we’ve made it another day closer to opening day of college football season. I hope you’ve been keeping up with the college football coverage that’s being churned out this week. If not, I’m sure Stoney will link them in here somewhere. He’s good like that.

Today, I’m speaking to the gambling degenerates in the group, like myself. After all, what’s more American than betting on college sports? Fortunately for you, we here at the SoBros Network celebrate and embrace your desire to gamble! If you don’t know where to start, fear not, for I am here to guide you. (Legal disclaimer: please gamble responsibly and in states where it is legal to place a bet on collegiate athletics. Or don’t. This is America, do what you want).

Michigan –3 over Florida

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure what Michigan brings to the table on offense this season. Here’s what I do know: Florida is leaving 10 players at home, including their leading receiver and running back. Florida’s offense struggled last year, and losing two explosive players combined with a new QB isn’t doing them any favors. Michigan is the play here.

Tennessee –3 over GA Tech

The triple option is tough to defend, especially when you only see it once a year. Fortunately for the Vols, they boast a fast defense that should be up to the task. GA Tech also happened to dismiss their leading rusher from last season, which should take a little venom out of their bite. The Vols have a lot to prove, and will be out to make a statement in the SEC East. Tennessee covers.

Oklahoma State –17 over Tulsa

If you read my College Football Playoff Darkhorse article, you know I’m really high on Oklahoma State. Tulsa was a solid football team last year, but isn’t returning many starters. OK State has one of the best quarterbacks and receiving groups in the country. Expect a lot of points from the Cowboys, and for Tulsa to fall behind early.

Texas A&M +4 over UCLA

A rematch from last year that saw the Aggies take down the Bruins, I think we’re in for the same story again this year. UCLA’s defense was much better last year, and they still couldn’t stop A&M. The Aggies have a lot less to replace, mostly Myles Garrett. I think A&M wins outright, since the Aggies always start hot. Bet against them next month, when they’ll inevitably fall apart. Take the points.

Alabama –7 over FSU

Rule #1: Do not bet against Nick Saban in season openers.

Rule #2 DO. NOT. BET. AGAINST. NICK. SABAN. IN. SEASON. OPENERS.

Also, don’t bet against Saban against one of his former assistant coaches. For me, it comes down to Alabama’s front 7 on defense against the FSU o-line. Alabama rolls.

One day closer. Poppa Bear loves you.

Poppa Bear is the lead SEC contributor for the SoBros Network, and serves as our resident expert on the human anatomy, fixin’ stuff, and tomatoes. Follow on Twitter:@SoBroPoppaBear

Shop our store on Redbubble. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Listen on SoundCloud, and watch on YouTube.

Recommended Posts

Leave a Comment

Contact Us

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Not readable? Change text.
0

Start typing and press Enter to search