Since I started writing about sports all the way back in 2013, I’ve been running this yearly feature. Since Thanksgiving is a time for reflection, I’ve taken the liberty to provide one thing that each NFL team and/or its fan base should be looking at as a blessing.
What Each NFL Team Should Be Thankful for This Thanksgiving
Arizona Cardinals – It’s hard for me not to go with ‘Bruce Arians’ sense of style’ here, but I feel like I go there every year. I guess a close second would be ‘Larry Fitzgerald.’ Maybe just be thankful to have one of the all-time greats still going.
Atlanta Falcons – The demolition of the Georgia Dome was awesome. I know, you guys might be sentimental, but how cool was it to watch that thing blow up? So cool..
Baltimore Ravens – The Ravens should be thankful for backup quarterbacks. Seriously, they take down the Packers with Brett Hundley at the helm, and because Nathan Peterman threw 56 interceptions, the Ravens have moved up to the second wild card position.
Buffalo Bills – Bills fans, just be thankful that football games only last sixty minutes. Sunday was awful. Also, be thankful for the most electric fan base in the NFL, where dudes run naked across the field.
Carolina Panthers – Panthers fans, be thankful you don’t all have to dress like Cam Newton.
Chicago Bears – Be thankful for Twitter, because without it, we’d never know how much Mitchell Trubisky loves kissin’ titties.
Cincinnati Bengals – The AFC is down this year, and the Bengals are much better than their record would suggest. So, be thankful for a weak conference, Bengals fans…because this team could make a run.
Cleveland Browns – Browns fans….I don’t know. Just be thankful it’s almost over..
Dallas Cowboys – Ezekiel Elliot ain’t playing, but y’all better be happy you had him for as long as you did. This has been one of the weirdest cases I can recall.
Denver Broncos – Broncos fans, I guess you should be thankful that no one on Earth seems to know what to do with Brock Osweiler, or else you wouldn’t have a quarterback.
Detroit Lions – Lions fans, be thankful for the wild card, because I think that’s all you’ve got a real chance for this season…
Green Bay Packers – Packers fans, now may be an appropriate time to look back on all the wonderful things Aaron Rodgers has done in his career. Probably not going to see any of that this year, but y’know…
Houston Texans – “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Love what you had of Deshaun Watson…
Indianapolis Colts – Colts fans, just be thankful the AFC South isn’t all the menacing. I mean, it looks like you guys are just one good draft class and free agency period away from being back on top of the division.
Jacksonville Jaguars – I’ve said it before and I will say it again: as long as I write this piece…and as long as the Jags have pools in their stadium…”pools in the stadium” will be the answer here. It’s just fuckin’ cool.
Kansas City Chiefs – Chiefs fans! Be thankful they make tablecloths big enough to cover Andy Reid or else he’d be out there bare chested every weekend!
Los Angeles Chargers – That soccer stadium, or else the Chargers would probably be playing in some back lot in a Los Angeles suburb. Also, the Chargers should just be thankful that at least 20,000 people are showing up these games…
Los Angeles Rams – There is no other answer here, Rams fans. You should get down on your hands and knees and thank your lucky stars Jeff Fisher is gone.
Miami Dolphins – Adam Gase, the veritable boy genius of football, looks like the right man to man the ship. But, damn – he needs an overhaul of talent on that roster. Just be thankful you’ve got a guy you should be confident in, Dolphins fans.
Minnesota Vikings – “Be thankful for Case Keenum” is not something I’d ever type, but here we are, Vikings fans.
New England Patriots – The Pats should be thankful football exists, because they were born and bred to rule it.
New Orleans Saints – The Saints damn sure oughta be thankful they got Adrian Peterson shipped out. Alvin Kamara has been a revelation.
New York Giants – This season has been an outright dumpster fire, but at least Ben McAdoo has sweet, sweet hair. Be thankful for that, Giants fans.
New York Jets – I’m going to take an outside angle on this and say Jets fans should be thankful for the butt fumble, or else there’d be nothing for them to talk about in November.
Oakland Raiders – Marshawn Lynch is a national treasure. Be thankful he wanted to return to action to play for his hometown team.
Philadelphia Eagles – Be thankful for the complete disarray that is the Cleveland Browns. If not for them, you guys might not have Carson Wentz, a guy I say should be the frontrunner for NFL MVP this season.
Pittsburgh Steelers – Just be thankful someone found JuJu Smith-Schuster’s bike. All is right with the world.
San Francisco 49ers – I’ve always loved those helmets. If you ask me, it doesn’t get much better than those golden domes. Let’s face it, Niners fans, you don’t have much else to be thankful for this year.
Seattle Seahawks – I’m going to keep this one simple and just say Seahawks fans should just be thankful for the pure sex that is Pete Carroll.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Bucs fans should be thankful that Jameis Winston isn’t giving pregame speeches every week. That ‘eat a W’ ordeal was downright embarrassing. Maybe just keep the camera off of him…
Tennessee Titans – It could be worse, Titans fans. You remember the days of Mike Munchak and Rusty Smith? Yeah, thought so. Just be thankful that this franchise is heading in the right direction.
Washington Redskins – R-Words fans should at least be thankful that they haven’t had to watch someone’s leg fold in half like RG3’s did several years ago. They have that going for them.
Catch y’all next year, and happy Thanksgiving!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
Buy our shirt. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Listen on SoundCloud. Watch on YouTube. Shop our store on Redbubble.
