Things You Don’t Realize You Should Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving, 2017

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So, I’m sitting here, trying to draw inspiration for probably one of my favorite pieces of the year. It’s things we don’t realize we should be thankful for this Thanksgiving…and I always want to reel y’all in…but, I’m reading over last year’s piece, and damn it. I just can’t come up with anything better. So, I’m just going to roll it out again:

Every year, we gather in the warmth of kiss and Ken, to celebrate the vanquishing of Native Americans from the land of the Pilgrims. I’m a bit rusty, so I may need to brush up on my understanding of the history of Thanksgiving, but I think that’s the general idea.

The Pilgrims came to what was then known as American India to slaughter Native Americans with disease, steal their crops but force them to teach the Pilgrims how to grow crops, and then, once they started growing corn, the Pilgrims thought, “man, we were real dicks to these guys.” So, the Pilgrims offered a single potato as thanks and as a sort of half-assed apology for the damage they had done (at this point, so many natives had died, the Pilgrims looked like real assholes and kind of had to apologize). Since potatoes were considered prime currency in the 1930s (when all of this transpired), the Native Americans instantly forgave the Pilgrims, and were even spotted wearing Pilgrim hats at their childrens’ bar mitzvahs.

Bet y’all didn’t realize Rooster wasn’t the only history expert at this site.

Anyway, we’re all thankful for our friends and family. They freaking rule – we love them. But, let’s get a little more creative.

Alright, folks. That said, I’ve got a whale of top five for you this year:

5. Shoes – How often do we take for granted that we get to wear shoes? You don’t even think about it, I’d bet. You just wake up, put ’em on, and go about your day. So, how about on this day, you take a moment to think about what life would be like if no one ever invented shoes?

4. P.K. Subban – I wasn’t the only one who mentioned the electric Nashville Predators defenseman, and I won’t be the last. I still don’t know that it’s set in what an electric personality this guy is and how lucky Nashville is to call him one of if not it’s greatest sports personality.

3. Nashville hot chicken – The turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and all the fixin’s are going to get all the credit for the next week. But, we need to stop and take a moment to appreciate this staple of our local cuisine. I eat Nashville hot chicken probably at least once a week, which probably explains the reason I sweat so much. But, I don’t know what I would do without it. It’s delicious and comforting, and is an instant morale boost.

2. Carabiner clips – Seriously, I’m only one man. Best as I may try, I can’t always get the groceries up the stairs in one trip. Thankfully, I stumbled upon a giant carabiner clip for $4 at Walgreen’s one day, and the rest is history, as they say. I can simply loop the clip through all of our grocery bags and voila! One simple handle to carry them all. It’s been a revelation.

1. Paul Heggen – Yes, yes – I’m going here, but we owe a sincere, heartfelt thank you to Paul. What started as a trivial little blog post spiraled into this huge social media campaign. Though we weren’t successful in getting him back on WSMV mornings, the side effect of this effort was a huge a boost in our site traffic. I’ve said it a million times by now, but we’re just starting out here. Most of us still have day jobs, and media companies aren’t built easily. Stuff like what Paul did for us in his retweets, shares, and comments – those are HUGE for us at this stage in our development. We’ll never forget it.

The man was even gracious enough with his time to come meet us and shake our hands. We were able to hand the 2017 SoBro of the Year Award to the recipient for the first time in our site’s history. He’s off to Raleigh, and Nashville is worse off for it. But, out of all of this hoopla that has taken place over the past several months, I’m happiest to say we have a new friend of the site. Thanks, Paul! Happy trails ’til we meet again.

From the SoBros Faithful

From Herbie BrooksI’m thankful for Lane Kiffin and his constant trolling of Vol fans. Also PK Subban for just being all around awesome.

From Cadbury Pringlebatch: Bathroom stalls.

From “Nature Boy” Brandon VickNot being a clown that’s allergic to laughter, DVD still being included with Blu ray and Digital Copy when you buy movies, your left leg not made 10% out of flesh and 83% out of a fishing rod, Elton John’s titties, not having a wife that looks like John Travolta from Battlefield Earth, and a wonderful variety of SoBros merchandise to purchase!

For more inspiration – see our pieces from 2016 and 2015. Enjoy the holiday, folks – we’re certainly thankful for all of you who read us!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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