It’s Thanksgiving Eve, but what are we to do at a sports/humor/entertainment blog? We rank things. That’s just the business these days. People want their top 10 lists and they want them NOW! So, who are we, as serious journalists, to deny the people that right? One of the most underrated parts of this holiday is not the turkey and stuffing, but all the wonderful Thanksgiving side dishes that go along with it. And, yes – I’m counting stuffing as a main dish, because it is. It’s one of the headliners. A lot like you had Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock back in the day – you’ve got turkey and stuffing at Thanksgiving…because there’s room for two. Anyway, on to the list…get ready for #RealJournalism…
Top 10 Thanksgiving Side Dishes
10. Rolls – People rant and rave about what they’re going to use to sop up all the gravy off their plates, but I just can’t get into it. I’m not a big bread man. It’s heavy and filling, leaving less room for other dishes. That’s why I have rolls low on this list.
9. Glazed carrots – Regular carrots are pretty dull and boring. That’s why rabbits eat them, because they’re so easy to find because none of the more superior animals in the forest like them. I don’t think rabbits have refined taste buds. But, you slap a good honey glaze on a batch of baby carrots and put that sumbitch in the oven, and man oh man do you have a sweet dish.
8. Turnip greens – Most people are cringing a bit here, but I say load my ass up with some turnip greens on Thanksgiving! Well, not literally – I’m not going to advocate for butt chugging turnip greens this Thanksgiving. But, I don’t think these get nearly the credit they deserve for being so tasty. I anticipate this will be the biggest point of contention for you guys reading this. But, my socials are listed below, so you can @ me.
7. Corn – You can do a lot with corn, but I feel like it’s always taken for granted. Do you ever really put a spoonful of corn on your plate because you’re craving it? Or, do you just scoop up some because it’s there? It’s delicious, don’t get me wrong. But, it’s so basic that it’s hard for corn to stand out on a crowded table.
6. Squash – Squash is one of those versatile dishes that people don’t appreciate enough. So, excuse me while I wave the fuckin’ banner for squash for a moment. But, it’s good with some sliced onions, grilled up in some salt and pepper. Or, you can make hella good cheesy casserole with it. Plus, it’s in season so you know you can get that good good.
5. Macaroni and cheese – I am a big mac n’ cheese guy, but let’s be real. Thanksgiving is the time of year for mac n’ cheese to sit back and let some of the other dishes shine. Politely take your bow and reign supreme January-October.
4. Cranberry sauce – It’s the only time of the year we’re going to be eating this shit, and is it particularly good? No. Not really. But, we love it for sentimental reasons. It reminds us of fond memories of Thanksgivings past. So, in that regard, I make sure to have mine every year.
3. Green bean casserole – You people might groan at the sight of this one. What fruitcake is to Christmas seems to be what green bean casserole is to Thanksgiving. But, I’m here to tell you – y’all motherfuckers need to give this shit a fair shot. It is delicious and delightful, and adds a nice complement to the carb-heavy stuffing and potatoes.
2. Mashed potatoes – The versatility of the mashed potato is vastly underrated. It can go with any meal at just about any time of the year. So, yeah – that may devalue it come November, but I still say it’s a staple of the big dinner. Personally, I like to mix up my mashed potatoes and stuffing, pour some gravy on it, and just sit and wait for the diabeetus to kick in.
1. Sweet potato pie – Nothing is as synonymous with Thanksgiving dinner as the sweet potato. I don’t care how you cook it up – in a pie, in a casserole…just slice the damn things up and put ’em on a plate – it’s all good. The sweet potato is THE quintessential Thanksgiving side dish. Go ahead and @ me.
Happy eatin’ y’all.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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