Christmas is fast approaching. We are t-minus 11 days and counting from the big day, and I know there are thousands of you out there who are still scrambling to wrap up your shopping. Don’t worry….we are here for the people. It’s just a part of what we do here – help you guys figure shit out so we can all make it through this dance we call ‘life.’ It’s the second annual SoBros Holiday Gift Guide!
So, get out your notebook. Prepare to take notes. And, just know that you’re about to make someone’s holiday season infinitely better.
First bit of advice: start early next year. I know, it’s always easier said than done, but listen. It’s worth the effort. I started my Christmas shopping in July this year. No joke. I pretty well had everything wrapped up by Thanksgiving, and have been able to sit back and enjoy the holidays without having to worry about it. Y’all running around in a frenzy, trying to find those last minute gifts, and I have five hours free to sit in traffic. That’s what early shopping is all about. Knocking out the tough shit, so you can sit and watch Christmas movies, bake cookies, and otherwise waste time throughout the month of December.
Second bit of advice: wrap gifts as you get them. It’s easier to wrap one gift at the end of the day than it is to let them pile up and suddenly have 20 gifts to wrap. That causes unnecessary anxiety. You don’t want to get caught dreading the monstrous amount of wrapping you have to do. That’s what causes holiday stress.
Final bit of advice: take some time to game plan. Stop and really think about what you want to get for people. Don’t just go to the store and think it’ll come to you. Maybe it will, but you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you go to the store and find nothing, your stress levels are simply going to amplify. Either you’re going to panic thinking of what else to do, or you’ll just have wasted all that time you could’ve spent drinking whiskey on the couch.
I don’t know how this turned into an article about managing holiday stress. The point is, just GSD earlier in the season (get shit done), and make sure you slot yourself enough time to actually enjoy the season. Let’s just get on to the amazing gift ideas.
10 Last Minute Gift Ideas
10. The McRib – McDonald’s usually brings this culinary masterpiece back in November. But, they aren’t everywhere, and once Thanksgiving is up, you have to say goodbye to them until next McRib Season. So, if you’ve got a McRib lover in the family, you can bet their face will light up when they open one. It might not be good if it isn’t fresh, but I can’t imagine that sitting in a box for a month under the Christmas tree will effect the freshness too much. I’m no expert, though. Even if those hard-to-buy-for loved ones don’t like the McRib, they will get a kick out of it as a gag gift. If everyone is laughing, everyone wins, and you come out looking like a genius.
9. Sneaker Balls – Everyone has shoes, right? But, shoes are hard to pick out for people…especially those pesky co-workers. Sneaker Balls are an excellent route to go here because you don’t have to worry about getting an investment such as a pair of shoes right, but we all know feet typically stink. When you hand this to Janice in accounting, she will be impressed by how thoughtful you are.
8. Mice – This time of year, it’s all about puppies and kitties. Don’t go with the status quo. Disrupt the status quo. Get that special someone a box of mice this year. The good thing is that if you can catch them in the house or around your neighbor’s barn, you won’t even have to pay for them.
7. A shark capo – okay this thing is actually cool. I’m not going to make any low brow jokes about this one. This really is perfect for the guitar player in your life.
6. Tim McGraw Cologne – It’s so hard to fragrance shop for people, but the one person in the world we can all agree on is Tim McGraw. Women want to be with him and men want to be him. That’s right, he’s the only person in the world we can all agree on. In that regard, you really can’t lose. Men want to have the allure of McGraw, and women want to smell his musk all day (similar effect to wearing a man’s t-shirt). Everyone wants to smell like Tim McGraw, plain and simple.
5. Sex Robot – Drones have been a hot gift over the last several years, but at this point, you either have one, or you don’t want one. Get ahead of the curve. Instead of getting a boring old drone, get the next big technological sensation: the sex robot. Add plenty of lotion and sanitary wipes as stocking stuffers.
4. Milk and bread – Listen, you’re going to look like the most thoughtful person in the world when everyone’s getting Hatchimals, but you remember the important stuff. What’s the first thing to go when snow pops up in the forecast? Milk and bread! Save your friends an emergency trip to the grocery store and just get them some milk and bread for Christmas!
3. Wax Pops – We have to give a shout out to our friends over at Wax Pops at this time of year. Simply phenomenal products. I’m burning ‘Pinecone & Snow’ right now, but am a big fan of ‘Cinnamon Donut’ as well. We bought a warmer and some wax melts for my aunt as a birthday gift last month, and she loved it. It’s a unique brand, and you’re supporting the Nashville small business community in the process. #ShopLocal, right?
2. A Basketball – You can never go wrong with a good old fashioned basketball. Simply put, it is the gift that keeps on giving no matter a person’s age.
1. Bitcoin – Indeed, Bitcoin is the hot ticket item this holiday season. People simply won’t shut up about it, myself included. It is probably one of the greatest purchases I have ever made in my life. You, too, can illuminate someone’s life. Just imagine the excitement on your kid’s face when he/she opens a box that has no tangible items in it, but they know they will become significantly wealthy by adulthood. That’s the miracle of Christmas to a child.
Hope this helps. Merry Christmas.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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