The Tennessee Titans announced Mike Vrabel as their new head coach on Saturday evening. Our sources reported that the new coach was already being considered the most handsome coach in Titans history. And, being the responsible journalists that we are, we reported that news.
Well, we’ve recently come under fire for reporting this news. People say we’ve been unfair to other Titans coaches, and no matter how many times I say we didn’t create the news, we only reported it, people still complain.
I get it. This is a really important topic, and it’s close to a lot of people’s hearts. But, quite frankly, I’m damn sick and tired of debating it. So, I will step up and offer the definitive power rankings of Titans coaches in terms of handsomeness.
It’s time we set the record straight.
Titans Head Coaching Handsomeness Power Rankings
5. Ken Whisenhunt – Let’s be real. Whisenhunt looked like a pecker, and his personality reportedly coincided with that, making him less attractive. There wasn’t a lot about The Whizzer that stood out physically, and it’s hard for players to buy in to a man that looks like a pecker. His lack of handsomeness was his ultimate undoing in Nashville.
4. Mike Mularkey – Mularkey was definitely a charmer. He had that silky smooth voice, and the players loved him. I imagine he smelled like Old Spice, too. Which is a positive of course. Mularkey is going to lose points in these Power Rankings because of that hair, though.
3. Mike Munchak – Munchak had that “tough guy” handsomeness. Like, you knew when you held his hand, you were going to feel some callouses. He was a little too mild-mannered to jump into the top two, though.
2. Jeff Fisher – I think the word that immediately comes to mind when every Titans fan hears Fisher’s name is “suave.” And, that’s reasonable. Fisher is a pretty suave looking guy. But, when compared to Vrabel, he’s just about a 7-9 level of handsome.
1. Mike Vrabel – He’s a tough guy, but he’s debonair. Vrabel has that smolder about him, and he’s a bona fide leader of men. I rest my case.
Now, Titans fans – this book has been closed. Let’s move on with our lives and stop talking about who the most handsome coach in Titans history is.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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