The next stop on the road to Wrestlemania 34, Elimination Chamber, came through Las Vegas, Nevada tonight. Let’s dive right in.
Kickoff Match: Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows def. The Miztourage – Fun enough match to start the show. I’m going to be honest, I was still reeling from the Southern Underground Pro show and completely missed how this match ended. So, I’m not going to give this a match rating. #Journalism.
Main Show
Important note: Did Coach just pull some damn curtains off the wall and make a suit out of ’em?
Women’s Elimination Chamber: Alexa Bliss def. Mandy Rose, Sonya Deville, Mickie James, Bayley, and Sasha Banks – Sonya Deville and Bayley start us off. I’m a huge fan of Deville – put yer hair and square up and what have you. Mandy Rose is the next to enter and we get a little bit of Bayley standing tall and looking impressive in battling ’em both off. Sasha Banks is in to even the odds. Rose is the first to go after tapping to the Bank Statement as Bayley fended off Deville from breaking it up. In comes Mickie James, who cleans house a bit. Fun spot where James climbs the chamber, hooks a Lou Thesz Press off the top of the pod to Deville, and eliminates her, only to be eliminated by Bayley.
Alexa Bliss is in and she runs around dodging Banks and Bayley. She manages to get on top of one of the pods before Banks catches up to her. Bayley attempts to join ’em, but Banks shockingly kicks Bayley in the fact. It’s high drama at this point, folks. Bayley and Banks have completely imploded. Bliss eliminates Bayley after a Bayley-to-Belly off the top rope on Banks. Bliss ever the opportunist. The Goddess gets up on top of the pod and delivers a hell of a Twisted Bliss to Banks. She pushes Banks into the pod and hooks a DDT. Pay worship to The Goddess. Hell of a match. Rating: 9/10.
Raw Tag Team Championship: The Bar def. Titus Worldwide – Cesaro and Sheamus get the win after a solid bout with a move I haven’t seen before. Cool – I swear I’m a real journalist. This was a fun match, though, and I’m happy Titus Worldwide is getting a little bit of rub here even if it is just fodder to keep The Bar hot heading into Wrestlemania. Rating: 7/10.
Asuka def. Nia Jax – Probably the two most dominant women’s wrestlers to come along in a while. This was a nice throwback to their title match back in NXT, with Asuka going for the frequent submissions, trying to “chop the tree down.” Nia looked dominant. Asuka gets the win. Nia attacks Asuka after the match. Everyone walks away looking better with a win in hand. Totally fine with it. Rating: 7/10.
Woken Matt Hardy def. Bray Wyatt – Hardy wins with the Twist of Fate. I’m going to be honest. I haven’t watched much Raw lately. Didn’t feel like this was a bad match, but just got the sense there’s a general fatigue over this feud. No clue what either of these guys does for ‘Mania. Rating: 5/10.
Ronda Rousey Contract Signing – Kurt Angle, Triple H, and Stephanie McMahon all out for this momentous occasion, talkin’ ’bout Rousey being the greatest signing since an Olympic Gold Medalist named Kurt Angle. Awwwww, that’s sweet. Out comes Rousey. Quote of the century from Angle: “Didn’t you just say, ‘three years in the making and now we own the bitch.'” Naturally, shit gets sideways and Rousey ends up putting Triple H through a table. Fun bit here that’s obviously setting up the intergender tag match at Wrestlemania. Rating: What? Should I rate this shit? Okay. 5/10.
Elimination Chamber: Roman Reigns def. The Miz, Elias, John Cena, Finn Balor, Seth Rollins, and Braun Strowman – Elias is over af. Nice song to start the show before Strowman interrupts. I would love to see Elias get a big singles bout at ‘Mania, but I have a feeling he’ll be lumped into the battle royal. Rollins-Miz-Balor is your starting three. These guys had an awesome triple threat on Raw last year, so not a bad way to go at all. Cena enters. Reigns enter. The action’s honestly a little slow…if you’re an optimist, you may call it ‘methodical.’ But, it’s been a long day and I’m having a hard time staying awake.
Miz gets a round of It Kicks in on all four of the other competitors in a fun little moment. The match quickens a bit, but it’s rather short-lived. Fans start chanting ‘get these hands’ and boom – it’s time for Strowman to enter. As you’d imagine, the Monster Among Men comes in and starts decking everything in sight. At one point, he literally hit Roman Reigns with Finn Balor. He threw The Miz off of the pod onto the other wrestlers. It was lit. Miz is the first one eliminated after taking Strowman’s power slam.
Elias is up, but he refuses to enter the chamber. Cena, Balor, Reigns, and Rollins gang up on Strowman, hooking a Shield-esque quadruple bomb. Strowman kicks out. AA to Strowman, but he kicks out. Spear to Strowman, but he kicks out. Rollins with a Curb Stomp, and Balor with a Coup de Grace on the outside, but they can’t get Strowman back in. Elias finally decides to come out of his pod and try to pin some people. The action has really picked up.
Strowman is back up and eliminated Elias with another power slam. Another power slam and damn, Cena is gone, too. Good little flurry from Balor that saw him get a near fall on Strowman. But, ultimately, guess what…power slam on Balor and Strowman has literally eliminated everyone in this match with a power slam so far. And, wait – what’s that? There goes Rollins. Eliminated with a power slam. Weird exchange between Reigns and Strowman. Both of these guys just look tired. No one should be surprised that Reigns hits a few Superman punches and a couple of spears and gets the W. It’s Reigns vs. Lesnar at Wrestlemania.
Strowman hits a few more power slams on Reigns and stands tall for no real reason to close the show.
Overall: I give it 7.5/10. Pretty fun little show stacked with decent matches. The Rousey segment was the only real drag for me, and even it picked up by the end. The men’s Elimination Chamber was slow, but decent enough. All in all, a good show en route to Wrestlemania.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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