Mother Nature can be a real frigid bitch. We already know that. But, man – there’s nothing better than lake season in Tennessee. It’s a crying shame that apparently Mother Nature is thinking about messing with that by bringing alligators up to Tennessee.
VIDEO: 7-foot alligator spotted in Tennessee: https://t.co/kKbVNptfZ4 pic.twitter.com/EV6oEuHEnB
— FoxNashville (@FOXNashville) March 27, 2018
Boy, oh boy, is this alarming or what? People around here don’t know how to deal with the cicadas when they come to town. How do you think they’re going to react to alligators!?
The Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency says a 7-foot alligator was spotted in Fayette County and the agency is informing residents that the animals have been migrating to the state.
TWRA personnel caught the sighting on video near the Wolf River in West Tennessee. The agency says this is just the latest confirmed sightings of several in Southwest Tennessee.
“Alligators migrating into Tennessee is just another species that we must learn to coexist with like many of the other southern states,” TWRA said.
My God! That’s the advice we get from the trained professionals?!?! A nice way of saying, “deal with it.” Don’t they know lake season is coming up? Aren’t they professionals for a reason? Shouldn’t they be telling us things like, “hang bags of water on the front porch” instead of “coexist with the alligators?” I know the bags of water thing works with flies, right? Hell, maybe it works with gators! I COULD USE AN EXPERT TO TELL ME SUCH THINGS!
Occasionally, alligators will feed on large animals like deer, raccoons or possums, but most feed on fish, turtles, snakes, frogs and waterfowl.
No joke, I initially read this pretty quickly and thought it said they like to feed on “raccoons or popcorn,” and thought, “what an absurd decision to make – should I eat this raccoon? Or, some popcorn?” Anyway, that’s what happens when I try to get inside the mind of a gator.
Alligators are a protected species and catching or shooting the animal is against the law. Tennesseans who spot an alligator should leave it alone.
“Leave it alone” and “deal with it.” I just can’t right now with these so-called experts. I tell you what – if any of these damned gators come trying to mess with my #LakeSeason, there’s a good chance they’re gonna get these hands. Law states I can’t catch one or shoot it. Well, it damn sure doesn’t say anything about me punching one in the gut over and over until it leaves the fine state of Tennessee alone. I will fight an alligator as God intended: hand-to-hand and fully nude.
Deal with that, GATOR.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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