Boy, it has been a doozy of a week here in Nashville. Our Mayor pleads guilty to theft of property, has to pay back $11,000, and resigns. Megan Barry is certainly reeling after the controversial affair with her security guard that saw her exit the throne. The throne….Mayors sit on thrones throughout the day, right? Regardless, the city is in turmoil, and suddenly, David Briley finds himself as the Mayor of Nashville.
But, we have to refocus and set our course for the future. Thankfully, blogs like us exist. We’re here doing the grunt work. Trying to do everything within our power to help our beloved Music City.
So, I turned the question of who should replace Barry over to the SoBros Network staff to help me compile this list. Considering it’s one hell of a braintrust of geniuses to have at hand, I would think the city would be very pleased with the list we came up with.
Candidates to Replace Megan Barry
David Briley
Yeah, I guess the guy who’s filling in for Barry could get the job. But, that’s no fun…
Basil Marceaux
From our own Cadbury Pringlebatch in this piece from August 2017:
“A man who firmly believed in the Pledge of Allegiance and planting grass in vacant lots, who knows how many great things he could’ve done for Tennessee as well as our entire nation.”
It may not be too late, people.
Demetria Kalodimos
After she was completely wronged by WSMV, this institution of Nashville culture’s stock has never been higher. Is there any doubt that Kalodimos would be diplomatic, pleasant, and a real champion of the people? I don’t think so.
Dagny
Paul Heggen is busy with his meteorologist gig in Raleigh, North Carolina. But, it doesn’t mean that Dagny is. Like Kalodimos, Dagny is one of the most universally beloved figures in Nashville history.
Dolly Parton
Is she the queen of Tennessee already? Sure. But, she’s one of the most kind-hearted spirits in the entire world. She has a proven track record of making sure Tennesseans are taken care of.
Charlie Daniels
The Baron of Mount Juliet may seem a little out there at times, but you can always count on him to be a straight shooter. He’s veritable royalty around these parts, and obviously cares deeply about our region’s citizens.
The Big Bang Twins
Name a more accurate symbol of unity in Nashville than these guys:
Go on. I’ll wait.
Sgt. Robert Forrest
Well, he’s certainly qualified – he knows the ins and outs of the mayor. Sorry, *being* the mayor. Aaaaaaaaaaand, yes this was just a way to work that ‘ins and outs’ joke in there. I’ll see myself out.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Perfect way to start his political career – I know he’s an ambitious guy and has teased a Presidential run in the future. But, why not start small and work up your confidence? Plus, he attended McGavock High School, so the connection is already there. Just. Saying.
Kesha
We’re big time Team Kesha. Everything she touches turns to gold. So, why not give her the Mayor’s throne?
Who are you eyeing, Nashville? Let us know of your suggestions in the comments below.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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