We can no longer say all stories don’t have happy endings. I don’t know who actually says that, but it seemed like a really cool way to start this article. Anyway, we reported earlier this year about the poop train that got stuck down in Alabama. It was making the whole town smell like literal doo-doo, but it appears a knight in shining armor may have saved the day.
After the foul-smelling poop train finally left the small Walker County town of Parrish, the much better-smelling Febreze van rolled in.
Febreze gave out free samples of its odor-eliminating products to residents of Parrish after a train carrying more than 200 shipping containers of sewer sludge sat on a rail yard in town for more than two months as the containers were hauled by trucks one-by-one to a landfill about 20 miles away.
Hell yeah, guys. Way to go! Spray a little Febreze, and BOOM – no one will even remember the poop train. It’s like the memory sticks from Men In Black, but for bad smells instead of memory.
And, listen – you may think I’m just crackin’ jokes, but I have been on the Febreze bandwagon from the start. Big Febreze guy. I keep a travel container in my backpack at all times. Always a can in the kitchen, and a can in the bathroom. No foul odors will overtake this guy’s apartment.
“At Febreze, we believe that no one should be immersed in stink and are confident that our lineup of odor-eliminating products could finally bring a breath of fresh air to the good people of Parrish,” said Mandy Ciccarella, communications manager for Proctor and Gamble Home Care, which makes Febreze.
Is that the official company mission statement? “No one should be immersed in stink” – because that is a bangin’ ass mission statement.
“The running joke was when the poop train came that we just needed to drop Febreze on top of the train,” one resident said in the video.
Febreze couldn’t do that, but the company did apparently drive around town handing out free samples after the train left.
Why not? Where there’s a will, there’s a way!
Why not just make one big ass can of Febreze, fly it over the town in a helicopter and pull that damn trigger? That seems just as effective a solution as any.
Febreze can’t stop a poop train, but it can handle whatever odors roll into your home…or your small town. #BreatheHappyParrish #PoopTrain pic.twitter.com/nQPvUv13yZ
— Febreze_Fresh (@Febreze_Fresh) May 16, 2018
Okay, I’m filing an official motion for Febreze to become the next Avenger. Thanos’ stank ass doesn’t stand a chance.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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