I’m a big fan of science. Just generally support it as an initiative. But, when I hear the terms “plastic-eating bugs” and “accidentally” in the same sentence, forgive me if I’m a little leery. Like, this sounds like something that’s going to put us on the bring of a biological catastrophe. Am I being dramatic? Stay tuned to find out.
Scientists have created a mutant enzyme that breaks down plastic drinks bottles – by accident. The breakthrough could help solve the global plastic pollution crisis by enabling for the first time the full recycling of bottles.
Now, the movie’s not out yet. But, I’m pretty sure that this is just the synopsis for Venom. Like, I’m waiting for Tom Hardy’s name to pop up in conjunction with this story. Trying to make a plastic-eating bug? Oops – we accidentally engineered this symbiotic, parasitic being that is really going to make life a nightmare for some people. Damn.
Does that really sound all that far-fetched? I mean, it’s not exactly like they’re trying to create Frankenstein’s monster here, but shit – you never know.
The new research was spurred by the discovery in 2016 of the first bacterium that had naturally evolved to eat plastic, at a waste dump in Japan. Scientists have now revealed the detailed structure of the crucial enzyme produced by the bug.
Doesn’t that kind of suck if you’re the bug? First of all, you’ve been in a dump so long that you’re evolving just to survive. Second of all, that entails eating fucking plastic. If I’m going to evolve, I want to evolve into something cool. Give my ass wings so I can fly. Sure, I’ll probably get myself killed within the first 48 hours of having wings, but how cool would that be?!
That’s basically like telling humans, “you guys have evolved – congrats, you can now eat tree bark!” Sure, that’d help us out quite a bit in the zombie apocalypse. But, for the time being….that would suuuuuuuck. Who wants to eat tree bark?
The international team then tweaked the enzyme to see how it had evolved, but tests showed they had inadvertently made the molecule even better at breaking down the PET (polyethylene terephthalate) plastic used for soft drink bottles. “What actually turned out was we improved the enzyme, which was a bit of a shock,” said Prof John McGeehan, at the University of Portsmouth, UK, who led the research. “It’s great and a real finding.”
The mutant enzyme takes a few days to start breaking down the plastic – far faster than the centuries it takes in the oceans. But the researchers are optimistic this can be speeded up even further and become a viable large-scale process.
Now, of course everyone is going to talk about what an awesome, huge breakthrough this is. But, I can’t help but have my doubts. Any time the terms “accident” and “mutant” pop in a story, I immediately pump the breaks, like “should we be doing this?” But, this one takes the cake – you factor in plastic-eating bugs, and it’s outright scare. I’m afraid of the future.
What if those bugs decided plastic isn’t fulfilling enough and they want to start chowing down on human bones? Are we strong enough to take them on?
Folks, it’s probably best, in this situation, to just prepare yourselves. You never know when you’ll wake up to an army of flesh-eating parasites created in a Japanese waste dump.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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