Self awareness is something we probably all need to work on. It just helps us become clear-minded, well-adjusted, not-ass-hole adults. Really, that’s probably what’s best for society. If we were all self aware, we’d probably be a lot nicer to each other. But, that’s not the case. Some people think they are more important than others. Some have no clue of their own behavior that’s driving people away from them. And then, there are the people who are literally not aware of how big their own ass is.
The 20-year-old had been firmly wedged in the child-sized seat for three hours before police were called to Landseer Park in Ipswich at 07:50 BST.
When a “shove and pull” method of swing-release failed, the fire service arrived with a trusty screwdriver.
The swing was taken apart and the “grateful but embarrassed” grown-up was freed unharmed.
A Suffolk police community support officer quickly realised the man – who complained he had been in there for three hours – was definitely stuck.
There was no shifting him as the girth of his rear was clearly too wide for the child-sized swing.
After taking the swing to pieces and releasing the man, crews from Suffolk Fire and Rescue Service put it back together so it could be safely used by someone of the right size.
I’m not going to be too hard on the guy. Just last week, I was running around on a playground with the niece and nephew, just having a blast and further destroying both of my knees that are already made of putty anyway. But, at least I had the wherewithal to know that I probably shouldn’t sit in the child’s swing. I am 6’2″ and 280 pounds. That’s probably not going to go well for me.
At least he was embarrassed. So embarrassed, in fact, that he sat in the swing for three hours….THREE HOURS….before finally deciding he had to call someone.
How about the BBC just dropping the elbow on this guy, though? “The girth of his rear was clearly too wide.” My God – do we really have to kick a man while he’s down? That’s just savage.
Regardless, the moral of the story here is simple. Be aware of who you are. Be aware of how big you are. Maybe then, you won’t get stuck in a swing that your ass is too girthy for.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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