I hope no one clicked that link thinking you were going to get actual journalism today. Hope you didn’t come for football analysis and the regurgitation of statistics. You have reputable football minds to go to for that. Nope – that’s not what we do here, folks. We only write pieces of sociology that measure how the game of football reflects real life.
Sorry if I confused anyone there – that’s my psychology degree from Middle Tennessee State (Harvard of the South) showing up. What I’m trying to say is that we write the real-world stories of the NFL. Stuff like Titans Facebook trying to figure out whether or not Corey Davis was in a gang, whether or not Logan Ryan convinced Paul Kuharsky to buy a Bop-it.
Today, we have the next great philosophical question to dissect – who is the most electric Tennessee Titan on the roster?
You may wonder what exactly electricity means – and like a lot of life’s greatest issues, it’s complex and multi-faceted. It isn’t just one thing, but it is everything. It manifests itself in on-field play, off-field actions, social media, and fashion. Some statisticians have attempted to quantify this metric as something known as “SWAG.” That’s the best representation of what ‘electric’ means within the framework of this piece of scientific methodology that I am writing here today.
So, I’ve spent a lot of time studying SWAG and concluded that these four Titans should be in consideration for the most electric Titan of 2018.
Will Compton
I don’t think I really need to do anything more than simply show you this image:
True Detective: Season 3 @TaylorLewan77 @_willcompton pic.twitter.com/G0562usse7
— Tennessee Titans (@Titans) August 24, 2018
BUT, I’M GONNA!
Will Compton has an A+ Twitter game (retweeting Stone Cold Steve Austin gifs = immediate electricity), and obviously has a fashion sense that screams SWAG. But, it’s his junkyard dog mentality that has won him over on the field – dude is competitive. And, if you follow him on Twitter, you know what an uplifting presence the guy aims to be. Just an all around moxie about the guy.
Adoree Jackson
Well know that Adoree Jackson is real as shit already. But, did you know that he is quite electric as well? The more you know. My man’s been out there making plays all preseason. He can play cornerback, he can return punts/kicks. Hell, you can throw him in on offense – bottom line is that you put the ball in Jackson’s hands and you’re going to get magic. As far as on-the-field stuff goes, Jackson may be the most electric Titan hands down.
Taylor Lewan
Taylor Lewan’s electric personality is well-documented in Nashville. Earlier this year, we conducted an official poll, and the people of Nashville voted Lewan the new Official Unofficial King of New Nashville. I mean, there’s really no need to look any further than his recent press conference after becoming the highest paid offensive lineman in NFL history.
The bottom line is that dad is one of if not the best left tackle in the NFL, he has a one-of-a-kind personality and sense of style, treats people with respect, and gives back – Lewan bleeds electricity.
#NoBadDays
Quinton Spain
The whole world was railing on Quinton Spain after last season, and what did the guy do? Played his way to solidifying the starting left guard gig. I would also like to point out that, while y’all were hating, I was banging the drum for Spain, saying that re-signing him should’ve been priority numero uno earlier this year.
But, this post isn’t about me patting myself on the back, though I will ALWAYS take the opportunity to do so.
Spain has that SWAG that can only come with a chip on your shoulder. But, it’s not just the grit he’s shown this year. No, Spain has that big time personality to go with it – remember, he’s the o-lineman that was out there pounding beers at the Preds game without his shirt on.
I actually have a source that I trust that tells me Spain rarely wears a shirt anywhere he goes. That’s the kind of journalism you’ll get on this site. Y’all have people giving you information on contracts and shit, and I’m over here getting tips like, “heard Spain never wears a shirt anywhere he goes.” Regardless, Spain’s electricity is probably the most underrated on this team.
Decision
It’s hard not to go with Lewan. He has set the electric bar incredibly high. So high, in fact, that it’ll be hard for anyone to top it.
Make your voice heard in this highly official poll we’ve conducted. I will share the results in two years assuming I don’t forget to.
#TitanUp
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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