Big North American news today as we continue on our quest to make the future a better place. That’s right, folks, and Toronto is contributing by opening up a sex doll brothel. No shit.
Courtesy of The Hamilton Spectator:
Toronto will soon be home to North America’s first known sex doll brothel, offering sexual services with six silicone-made dolls.
According to the website for Aura Dolls, the company behind the brothel, the vision is to bring a new way to achieve sexual needs “without the many restrictions and limitations that a real partner may come with.”
The brothel is expected to open in a shopping plaza on Yonge St., south of Sheppard Ave., on Sept. 8. The company doesn’t give the exact location on its website, stating it’s announced upon booking.
Alright, welcome to the future – now, who wants to go stick their dick in a machine?
The SoBros Network team has been all over sex bots (I mean…like….we’ve covered them…..okay, that sounds dirty, too…we started talking about them…) since the early days of the SoBros Power Hour podcast.
In fairness, this is hardly revolutionary. This is just the latest story to come along in the grand myriad of futurology. I mean, what’s the difference between a sex doll and a toaster? They’re both machines, right? I guess this gets us into a deeper philosophical discussion, and I have a deadline to meet. My point is that, regardless of what it looks like, someone out there is probably puttin’ their pecker in a toaster.
Also, how creepy does “without the many restrictions and limitations that a real partner may come with” sound? Just say what you mean – “this doll won’t say no to your fat ass” or “this doll is actually programmed to be good at the sex.” Let’s be transparent, people – that’s a guiding principal in effective communication.
The dolls are made of silicone, which is designed to give them a realistic look and feel, she said. In order to sanitize the dolls, Lee said a three-step routine is used after each booking.
However, staff still “highly recommend” the use of condoms, according to the website.
Oh, God – what am I reading? We’re talking about things that people are communally expelling bodily fluids into or onto. I mean, that probably sounds like college to a lot of people, but it seems really unsanitary. Telling me there’s a “three step routine” to getting splooge off a robot doesn’t really make me feel better.
Also, what do the dolls do when nobody is around? Is it like the Bunny Ranch on HBO? They get their nails did and sit around and gossip? If that’s the case, then we need a reality show STAT.
In the same article, author Neil McArthur raised the question of the dolls’ appearance. “Will they be pornified fembots?” he said. “These exaggerated female creatures with huge breasts that look like this teenage male fantasy of what a woman should look like.”
He said researchers are looking at how to address gender issues that may arise from the appearance of sex robots.
I’m just going to open up a SoBros Brothel and drill wet holes into the wall and let people have at it. $5 to get in, and if you stay longer than 15 minutes, I’ll poke you with a stick to let you know it’s time to go.
That’s called futurism, friends. Don’t have to worry about gender issues, don’t have to worry about attachment issues, how the psychology of boning a robot can really mess up your psyche, none of that – you’re just fucking a wet hole in the wall!
And, on that note, I’m out.
Oh, and if you’re up there in Toronto and reading this….happy pluggin!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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