Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into my weekly American football column, Tank the 401k. Here, I will divulge all my professional eagle-eyed opinions on the upcoming week. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts!
Hell of a start to the season for your boy! I don’t think I’ve ever, at any point predicting games, been at 100% on the season. I don’t care if it’s week one. I’m counting it. 5-0 last week, so I hope y’all put some money down on my picks. Furthermore, I hope you’re ready to lose it all this week when I undoubtedly go 0-5. That’s just how it works, folks – but remember – it’s a marathon and not a sprint.
Also, if you actually bet money on my picks, you do so at your own discretion. Do not sue me when you lose your house because I said the Titans and Dolphins would combine for 200 points.
BIG NATURAL’S TANK THE 401K PICKS
NCAAF: Northwestern -2.5 vs. Duke – The Wildcats are coming off of a big emotional win against Purdue in a game that both teams needed to win. Hard to imagine they won’t have a bit of a letdown tomorrow against a quality opponent, but I think Northwestern is the real deal, and there’s not much to read into Duke’s romping of Army.
NCAAF: South Carolina +10 vs. Georgia – I’m finally buying in on Poppa Bear’s love of South Carolina. I’m not giving up on my love for Drew Lock and the Missouri Tigers…just buying in on South Carolina a little more. The Gamecocks are a pretty big home dog, and while the Bulldogs are incredibly dangerous….I don’t know….gut feeling just says this is going to be a close one.
NFL: Cincinnati +2.5 @ Indianapolis – I don’t want to kick the Colts when they’re already down. Last season was an apparition, and they’re going to be competitive in 2018. But, I think people are sleeping on how good this Bengals team can be. The defense should be a solid unit. They beefed up the offensive line, and if their play-makers can once again be play-makers, they’re going to be a threat in the AFC North. I think they hang around and win this game.
NFL: Kansas City @ Los Angeles, OVER 48 – Two of my favorite teams in the AFC this season and coincidentally, two of my favorite offenses in the entire league. I’m a little hesitant to pull the trigger on the Chargers to cover, so I think over 48 points is the play to make here. This one has decent shootout potential.
NFL: Los Angeles Rams -4 @ Oakland – Gotta say….I think the Raiders are in rebuild mode, whether they realize it or not. The problem is….they’re rebuilding with exclusively old guys. That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. We’ll see how it pays off. I think the Rams are going to be one of the best teams in the NFC, they’ve had ample time to prepare, and they’re going to steamroll the Raiders on Monday Night Football.
Last Week: (5-0)
On the Season: (5-0) – 100%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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