I’m a big fan of gimmicks, buddy, let me tell you. Big Bossman had his billy club. Rick “The Model” Martel had arrogance, and Gangrel had his big goblet of goat’s blood (presumably). But, lately, wrestling gimmicks have made their way into the college football world. For the most part, I’m cool with it. But, seeing Florida State’s turnover purse over the weekend? Well, that just made me a little sad.
FSU’s turnover backpack might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen… pic.twitter.com/6x6XHlFMCY
— gifdsports (@gifdsports) September 9, 2018
First of all, that is not a backpack. That is a nice designer purse. Trust me, I have seen several designer purses and that one fits the bill. So, let’s stop calling it a ‘turnover backpack,’ and call it what it is. It’s a ‘turnover purse.’
Second of all, why are we drifting away from the classic championship belt? I mean, Alabama has the Ball Out Belt. Ole Miss has the Nasty Wide Outs Belt. Those are all well and good. Miami’s Turnover Chain was a bit gaudy…but I think we can all agree it’s better than Butch Jones’ sideline trash can. Why do we feel the need to keep getting weirder?
What does this purse even symbolize? Is Willie Taggart just equating gold chains and flashy belts to ‘the finer things’ in general? “Well, we can’t copy these other teams, but we need something just as exquisite…I know! A nice, designer purse.”
I don’t know, but I can’t wait to see where the football gimmick games takes us next. Just waiting for MTSU to unveil their sack parrot. Or, for Vanderbilt to bring out the interception suitcase. How about this? You force a turnover, you get to drive a dune buggy up and down the sideline for the rest of the game.
If it were me, I’d just keep it simple and pass out Sonic gift cards to everyone who made plays, but players only get to raise them and hold them up in photos so as to avoid reprimanding from the NCAA.
*winks* *nods* you can actually use the gift cards, we’re just not going to tell the NCAA that.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
Check out the SoBros Shop. Subscribe to our Patreon. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Listen on SoundCloud. Watch on YouTube.
