I’m asserting a new position today. Florida Georgia Line has officially become the new mascot of Nashville. I can’t help it – no one can control it. They can only hope to contain. But, if you’re like me, every time you hear ‘FGL’ you’re thinking, “God – that’s soooooo new Nashville.” So, let’s just call a spade a spade. They are our mascot. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we can move on with our lives.
Anyway, FGL is making news recently for having their teepee dismantled. LOL – what? Not like….toilet paper…or “TP.” But, a literal teepee.
Florida Georgia Line officially opened their new “creative compound” in Nashville last week with an industry party. Over the weekend, vandals damaged a structure outside the complex, which is also home to FGL member Brian Kelley’s Tribe Kelley Trading Post, an apparel and accessories boutique.
Surveillance video posted on the Tribe Kelley Facebook account shows a group of four people systematically dismantling a teepee on the property. The teepee and the Tribe Kelley Trading Post, operated by Kelley and his wife Brittney, have been a fixture on 21st Avenue in the Hillsboro Village neighborhood since late 2017.
Wait. Wait. What?
I don’t know if I’ve been jaded for so long by famous people doing ridiculous shit with their millions, but I can’t help but hear “creative compound” and roll my eyes. Just say ‘orgies.’ Just say the place was designed for freaky group sex, and we’ll be good. It’s 2018 – that kind of stuff is much more acceptable than it was in the days when Joe Diffie was singing about a love bigger than The Beatles. You don’t have to hide it.
Second, what the hell y’all got a teepee for? What kinda work is getting done in there? You think it just looked cool? Were you sitting there at a coffee shop thinking, “man, I’d get so much more work done if only I were in a teepee” or what?
Kelley and his partner in FGL, Tyler Hubbard, assembled their businesses, including a new event space called Meet + Greet and their Tree Vibez Music publishing company, under the umbrella of the new “creative compound.”
LOL Tree Vibez. Tree Vibez? What the hell kinda vibes do trees have? I can just see the gears turning. “We want a natural environment to create in.” “We need a name that reminds of nature.”
“Hey, Tyler – what’s in nature?” “I know, Bryan….trees.”
Fuckin’ trees. Hey – that’s Tree Vibez, though.
Also, I could get on my misappropriation of Native American culture high horse, but I won’t. Anyway, if you want some more Florida Georgia Line hate, you can read this scathing indictment over on SavingCountryMusic.com.
AND THAT’S HOW WE DO IT ‘ROUND HERE!
Finally, since I mentioned Joe Diffie, I can’t leave y’all without some….you guessed it…Joe Diffie:
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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