The Minnesota Vikings gave Kirk Cousins a fuck ton of money in the offseason. I haven’t done my research, but I’m pretty sure that’s literally what the contract says. Cousins has so much money that if he under-performs in the slightest bit, people are going to start saying things like, “should the Vikings have given him all that money?”
Not saying that would ever happen with the national media or clickbait websites or even guys at the water cooler. Definitely don’t think that the esteemed institute of journalism that is the SoBros Network would ever take such a stance.
I’m just reporting speculation, like most good journalists do.
But, nonetheless, with a salary like the one Cousins has, you’d expect his team to be playing in January. Maybe even in February. Well, folks – I am here to journalize just that. Cousins IS playing football in February.
May not have @stefondiggs & @athielen19 around, but gotta throw all off-season to keep the arm strong. pic.twitter.com/SVVZc2mteG
— Kirk Cousins (@KirkCousins8) February 9, 2019
This is super impressive. I don’t want anyone to get me wrong here – I am genuinely impressed by that cannon (that’s what she said). I thought this video was Photoshopped at first. That throw seemed to defy physics. I think, upon further inspection, it’s that Cousins throws such a tight spiral that the ball starts to rebel against the law of gravity. That’s what makes it look like it’s floating – it actually breaks away from the gravitational pull of the Earth for a split second.
It’s beautiful.
Also, if I’m the receiver in this video, I’m confronting Cousins. Receivers feed off of confidence and if that’s me, I’m like, “wtf bro? I’m not as good as Stefon Diggs or Adam Thielen? I thought we were friends!”
The thing Cousins has to realize is that he’s a leader and part of being a leader is managing personalities. The Vikings probably would’ve felt like they got more of their money’s worth if the receiver is so happy that he/she does a backflip after catching it.
As it stands, I’m not sure. I think Mike Zimmer might have a few criticisms of his body language.
But, I’m not Mike Zimmer. So, all in all, I give this throw a 9/10. I’m sure this is just what Vikings fans want to see out of their quarterback in February.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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