Olive Garden has long been America’s preeminent purveyor of fine authentic Italian foods….much like the loaded pasta nachos. Goods like that you can only find under the sultry Tuscan sun….and at Olive Garden.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like the OG has delivered in another major way this Valentine’s Day. In case you’ve forgotten to get flowers, you might want to pump the brakes and head the OG instead.
Why waste more money on chocolates when you get that special loved one of yours something they’ll TRULY appreciate?
Olive Garden is offering a bouquet of its own for that someone special this Valentine’s Day.
The restaurant chain is offering customers downloadable breakfast bouquet wrappers to go along with the to-go order so they can get their own breadstick bouquet.
Those interested can order breadsticks to go and download the wrapping square of their choice.
I need to quit reading this story or I’m gonna blow a load! Right?! Fellas, am I right?! I mean, damn – I JUST put this pair of pants on!
Kudos to Olive Garden, though, for recognizing how arousing their product really is. I mean, it’s Valentine’s Day – one of the biggest sex holidays on the calendar. If you’ve got something to sell that’s gonna make people harder and wetter, then by George, you gotta get it out there! Now’s the time when people are going to be buying stuff like this!
Condoms…dildos….handcuffs….rubber gloves….Olive Garden breadsticks. All of the essentials to exploring your sexuality with the one (or ones – no one’s judging you here if you want to have a big breadstick orgy to celebrate) you hold dear. It’s just good business, and the fine folks at Olive Garden happen to be providing an excellent service for people.
I fully support this decision if you want to spice things up in the bedroom this Valentine’s Day.
Just remember – when you’re here, you’re family.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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