Nude Dance Dance Revolution, you say? Thanks to a Japanese sex hotel, the practice of dancing nude has taken a progressive step forward.
For those that don’t know, Japan has what are called “Love Hotels” and their sole purpose is to be a safe place where people can go and get their nasty on. Sex. Intercourse. Doin’ the nasty. Anyway, there’s one Love Hotel in particular called Hotel Eldia that wants to put a little additional cardio into your sexy time.
According to Livedoor News, Hotel Eldia houses a pretty impressive Dance Dance Revolution Supernova machine in room 211. This room comes with a massive bed (for the other reason people are there) with a huge Dance Dance Revolution machine on the opposite side. Pure privacy, pure fun, all for two hours.
Hotel Eldia also has a huge slide wrapping around a tub for even more creative ways to enjoy spending time in the nude, which basically makes this place either someone’s worst nightmare, or their perfect paradise.
My first question in this journalistic thoughtpiece (or perhaps more appropriately, ‘thotpiece’) is aren’t most hotels sex hotels? I don’t mean to wreck any potential travelers world right now, but I think the main reason people get hotel rooms is to have sex. That’s just my opinion based on my life perspective. It’s also why I NEVER use the phone in a hotel room.
Anyway, I sure hope that Hotel Eldia keeps the DDR machine wiped down, ’cause I imagine there’s A LOT of semen on it. That’s just given when you consider how religiously people play DDR.
But, my balls hurt just imagining doing any sort of nude cardio. Like, if you want to slow dance in the moonlight nude, then that sounds more my speed. But, have y’all ever seen DDR? That’s no slow dancing – it’s practically a NFL combine drill. Can you imagine running the 40 nude, or doing the three-cone drill butt ass naked? A man’s testicles aren’t built to stay put with ever changing movement. They’re going to swing around like a wind chime in a storm.
I think that one day I might like to have kids, so I’m going to have to pass on the nude DDR.
What happened to good old fashioned skinny dipping?
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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