I’m no expert on rattlesnakes…but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that finding 45 of them living under your house is not ideal. That seems problematic.
Courtesy of the superstars at WKRN:
A Texas homeowner who reported seeing “a few” snakes under his home actually had dozens of rattlesnakes living beneath his house.
That’s according to Big Country Snake Removal, whose workers pulled 45 rattlesnakes from underneath the home near Albany, about 150 miles west of Dallas.
The company said on its Facebook page that the homeowner had crawled underneath his home after high winds disrupted his cable television service. The homeowner saw a few snakes, quickly crawled out and contacted the snake removal company, which removed the rattlesnakes last week.
First of all, can someone please check on Nikki Burdine?
You want to talk about nightmare fuel, how about crawling under your house to find an army of rattlesnakes. And, yes – I’m classifying 45 snakes as “an army.” It might as well be. I’m not typically afraid of snakes, but the idea of being stuck in a crawlspace with 45 of them is kind of like the idea of jumping into shark infested waters and I am completely phobic of sharks.
That’s a lot to digest, I know. But, my larger point is that this fuckin’ sucks for this family.
If this happens at my place, there’s going to be some serious property damage as I’m probably taking my shotgun and shooting these things through the floor. Which….that’s alarming in its own right because I don’t own a shotgun and God knows what I’d have to do to acquire one on such short notice.
I think if I do ever end up crawling up under a house, whether it’s mine or someone else’s (I don’t know where my life’s journey is going to take me – I might end up crawling under other people’s houses one day), and find a kingdom of snakes, I’m just going to call it a night. I’ll succumb to the snakes and hope they take me in as one of their own instead of striking me repeatedly. And, if they do strike me, I’ll probably die pretty quickly because OH YEAH THERE’S 45 OF THEM! It’s just not worth the stress on my heart and living with that image burned into my brain for the rest of my life. Best to just get things over with in a blaze of glory.
Come to think of it, I really don’t like envisioning this scenario. I’m tired of writing about it while also on the verge of fainting.
PS. Can someone please explain how snakes work to Neil Orne? Or, is his idea of danger, “having shoulders?”
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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