Being big time journalists like us means you hear all kinds of wild stories. Unfortunately, it is our job to report them. We don’t want to, but we have to. It’s the curse of the great journal, as I believe Charlie Brown once called it. Today is such a day – folks, I am so disheartened to bring you this story about an East Tennessee man who dipped his balls in someone’s salsa.
Howard Webb, 31, was with a driver for Dinner Delivered, a food delivery service, on Jan. 12 when he allegedly put his testicles in an order of salsa that a customer had ordered from a Mexican restaurant in Maryville, WBIR-TV reported.
Webb, in a video published by the news station, is seen seemingly putting his testicles in a cup of salsa. Someone else in the vehicle, identified as the delivery driver, is heard giggling and saying: “This is what you get when you give an 89-cents tip for an almost-30-minute drive.”
“Oh, it feels good on my [testicles,]” Webb replies.
Man, this went from reading a news story to reading erotica IN A HURRY. We’re getting details of what happened and then BOOM – “it feels good on my….”
SIR!
This is like 50 Shades of East Tennessee, am I right?
But, seriously, people – haven’t you learned by now? Do NOT fuck with people who handle your food! Now, I’m not saying this guy was right for putting his sack in this customer’s stuff.
Quite frankly, that’s dangerous. They put jalapenos in salsa. Wouldn’t want to risk the burning scrotum, I’d think. But, this guy is just a next level of not givin’ a fuck.
Still – why don’t you just publicly shame the person or something? This seems a little aggressive.
The delivery service wrote that it reported the driver to law enforcement authorities.
Webb, according to WBIR, was arrested on Friday and charged with adulteration of food, liquids or pharmaceuticals.
“Adulteration of food…” lol – what can I even say to that? That’s a real charge?!?! Adulteration of food!
Finally, shout out to “Nature Boy” Brandon Vick for bringing this article to my attention. He’s currently on the shelf recovering from surgery. We’re wishin’ you well, brother!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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