Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.
Question:
How much will you pay me to give some semblance of a flying fuck about the draft?
— Dom Oxenham-Morris – Tunes to the bime (@doxom85) April 25, 2019
Answer:
Dom, you do you, buddy. Ain’t nobody offended that you don’t like football. I’m gonna go get shit-wrecked with 200,000 regardless!
Question:
If you had to intentionally give someone a horrible Christmas present what would it be?
— Righteousjesse (@RighteousJesse) April 25, 2019
Answer:
I mean, it has to be reasonable, right? Otherwise, you just give someone a big bag of shit…literal shit….and I don’t know how it gets much worse. If I’m trying to make it believable, I think I go with a pack of loose leaf notebook paper. What the fuck is a grown adult going to do with that?
Question:
Can i borrow a pen? Who dies in Avengers?
— Matt Griffin (@MattTheMouth) April 25, 2019
Answer:
Only if you promise to keep it for a minimum of 15 years – and Matt, I don’t remember….The Avengers came out in 2012….
(also, good luck tonight)
Question:
Neil, Jared, Bromando, the @SoBros and I are in the draft this year. What are our positions and what round are we going!
— WKRN Brent Remadna (@RemadnaWKRN) April 25, 2019
Answer:
It’s tough to say having not seen the GMN crew’s natural talent on display. I’ve played flag football with most of the SoBros, so I have a good sense of where their strengths lie.
Out of the whole bunch, I think we have three first round talents – Cadbury at wide receiver, Poppa Bear at OL, and Brent at running back. I’ve seen Cadbury once amass 214 yards and four touchdowns in a game at receiver. Dude is as shifty as they come – just hit him with a short pass and he does the rest. Poppa Bear played center in high school – has an excellent center of gravity and is athletic. I once saw him score two receiving touchdowns in a game coming out of the back field. Finally, Brent – I haven’t seen you run an inch, but you have the prototypical build of an elite running back.
Jared, “Nature Boy” Brandon Vick, and myself are going in the second round – Plush has the build of a dual threat running back who looks hard to tackle, but isn’t quite powerful enough to be a featured back. Brandon is an underrated athlete who would make for a good possession receiver or strong safety. I have a decent arm (I do have the Glade Bowl record with seven passing touchdowns in a game), but I can block and catch as well – I guess I’d label myself as a QB/TE.
Neil and Bromondo have strong builds and fiery character – they’re going to be third round talents regardless of position.
If I’m a GM in this fictional league – I’m going to target Cadbury in Round 1, get a strong two-way player in Round 2 in Brandon, and then I’m finding a way to get Bromondo on the field with my Round 3 pick.
Question:
How about a SoBros outing to the Exit 111 Festival in Manchester? Rent a sweet RV and just rock out with our cocks out.
— Steven McCash (@MC_Cash75) April 25, 2019
Answer:
Dude, Mose and I were actually talking about hitting that up yesterday! Talks didn’t develop past, “man – we should think about that,” but maybe they could. Stay tuned.
Question:
I like to wait until the last minute sometimes, today’s mailbag is no exception. With that being said, who would win in an all out battle between Thanos and The Night King?
— Armondo (@mightymondo) April 26, 2019
Answer:
Shit, Bromondo. That’s a good one. It’s tough to call because I think we have a good sense of Thanos’ power, but we’re still pretty unclear on just how powerful The Night King is. I’m pretty firmly entrenched on Team Night King, but I think Thanos, with the Infinity Stones, gets the win. Without ’em…I don’t know.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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