Science and technology have no doubt come a long way since the dawn of time. You can do all kinds of shit now thanks to smart people who have manipulated the laws of physics to make life more convenient. I think that’s the textbook definition of science, but I’m not quite sure. Still, nothing can replace the natural intuition of the good ol’ human body. The brain is an amazing thing, and I don’t think there’s a better example in all of time and history than this dude who threw up a tumor.
“…after a recent binge-drinking session, he began throwing up and felt a sudden sharp pain in his throat followed by the sudden presence of a meatball-like mass in his mouth.
The man was so drunk that he thought he had vomited a part of his body out, and quickly swallowed the ‘meatball’ back with a glass of water.
Fortunately, the man decided to seek medical attention this time and went straight to a hospital in Wuhan. After hearing his story and conducting an endoscopic exam, doctors discovered that the “meatball” was in fact a tumor growing at the top of the man’s oesophagus.
Yo. How fuckin’ blitzed do you have to be to throw up what you think is an organ and then think if you just swallow it, it’ll go back to where it came from?
Also, what part of his body did he think he was throwing up? Maybe one of his testes? If not, I don’t know what I would have that might be the rough size equivalent of a meatball.
I really want to give this man a break. Listen – it sounds crazy, but we’ve all been there. You mess something up and you just think, “if I put it RIGHT back, all will be fine again.” It’s your gut reaction to try and get things back to normal. It’s like the stages of grief – you don’t want to believe that you just drunk-puked up a tumor, so you just swallow it, thinking it was a kidney and the correct way to re-install a kidney is by swallowing it.
That said, I’m happy he came to, though. That light bulb went off and he probably thought, “shit, swallowing my lung probably isn’t going to work the way I panic-thought this out.”
It’s a good thing he sought medical attention, because meatballs don’t just materialize out of your throat. That’s good recognition on his part.
And, now we all know. Instead of wasting tons of money on a doctor visit, the next time we want to scan for tumors, we just need to get blackout drunk.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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