As it turns out, Arby’s is coming out with a meat carrot. This is not a drill. It’s very real life. While most “restaurants” are moving towards plant-based vegan cuisine, Arby’s is going to double down on “fuck that” and try to make plants out of meat. This just seems spiteful, y’all!
Nonetheless, the “marrot” (a carrot made of meat) is currently in development.
Let’s talk about how it’s made. For starters, Arby’s uses 100-percent turkey breast and rolls it up. “With a cheesecloth and plastic wrap, you’re able to wrap it into that rounded cone shape that you get with carrots,” brand executive chef Neville Craw told Delish. It’s then smothered in dried carrot juice powder (aka where the nutrients and color comes from), and roasted for an hour.
So, let’s put this into plain English. This is just a damn hunk of turkey with carrot powder on it. Who the hell was clamoring for this? This thing has my stomach in knots just thinking about it. This is worse than some of the monstrosities that Burger King has come up with in recent years. It’s as gross-sounding as Sonic’s pickle slushie. If this ever actually makes it out for public consumption, it will be the grossest thing introduced to the American food scene since White Castle opened their doors.
Who is Arby’s’ Director of Marketing? A kindergartener? This sounds like something a child would come up with. It has to just be a publicity stunt, right? Could this actually come out? I mean, if it does, SoBros Network HAS to review it. But, I don’t know – just doesn’t seem right.
Damn – come to think of it…..is the meat carrot just some internet joke that everyone is in on but me?
Have y’all duped me? Fuckin’ Arby’s – can’t trust ’em.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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