Brisket so Good, You’ll Stuff It Down Your Pants and Try to Walk Out of Wal-Mart

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I’ll be the first to admit – I love brisket as much as the next guy. You can keep your chicken and pulled pork all you want. Fill my fat ass full of good brisket and you will have a happy man.

That’s why my ears perked up when I heard this story about a man who found some brisket so good, it was worth riskin’ it all to get home.

Courtesy of WSMV:

Police and the loss prevention employee detained the man, and discovered he had placed two propane bottles in his pants, along with sliced beef brisket. The total value of the items found in Honaker’s pants is approximately $35.00.

Tryna steal that brisket! What happens when #NashvilleNights meets ‘People of Wal-Mart?’

I’ll tell you – it’s this story. But, the problem is that it doesn’t really tell us whether the brisket was being stolen because it was that good and this man was that desperate to acquire it, or if it was just the alcohol.

That’s the important detail of the story – that part in it where the guy spits all over the place, tries to kick out the fucking windows in the cop car, and assaults a police officer. But, it doesn’t really tell us a whole lot about the brisket itself which is what I’m here for.

Now, if the brisket at the Wal-Mart on Dickerson Pike really is that good, I might have to go try it out. I mean, this story and this man sound bat shit fucking crazy, but the main takeaway for me, as I type this, is that there’s potentially good brisket out there in the world for me to try. Does it mean I risk getting shot for it? Sure. But, I don’t mind. What reward ever came without at least a little bit of risk? At least a minor threat of being accosted by a man with propane tanks stuffed down his britches? That’s how all the best stories start. In fact, I’m pretty that’s how Lord of the Rings started.

Anyway, I’m hoping there’s an update on this story. The people deserve round-the-clock coverage of it actually. Hell, maybe we can even get someone out to the Wal-Mart on Dickerson Pike to review the brisket.

If only there was a media company in Nashville that did such stupid things…

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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Image courtesy of Jacob Stone on Unsplash!

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