I imagine when you go to police school, breaking up an elderly gang bang in a park probably isn’t one of those things you ever think of having to do. It’s just one of those unexpected perks of the job.
At least, that’s what it was for these police in Connecticut when they got the call to scope out a group of old people gettin’ they fuck on down at the local public park.
Six Connecticut seniors were arrested after police say they caught the group allegedly having sex in a public park.
The group of six seniors consisted of five men and an 85-year-old woman. They are facing multiple charges, including breach of peace and public indecency.
They said the ages ranged from 62-85 and folks – I just gotta ask…..who was that 62 year old?? Isn’t that still young enough to be considered “middle aged.” It just seems like other options could’ve been available. I mean, love is love – don’t get me wrong – if you’re all in on the 85 year old woman, more power to you. But, bruh.
Also, this isn’t “having sex” – this is a legit fucking gang bang. They are running a train on that woman. Let’s call it what it is instead of this #fakenews bullshit. This headline should read, “six old people arrested for a fucking gang bang in public.” I want more honesty out of my journalists.
Maybe it’s an education thing. This journalist doesn’t know that that constitutes a gang bang. In that case, this journalist should be fired for being stupid.
Shout out to these old people, though. I love it. One foot in the grave – nothing much left to live for, might as well take on five dicks down by the duck pond. Or, hell – get your four closest bros together and take turns humping after you’ve all had your biscuits at Hardee’s at 5AM. Like, this is living life at that age.
I’m all for it. If I ever run for office, I’ll make sure it’s apart of my campaign – “more old people fuckin’ in parks. Keeley 2020.”
PS. I have no idea if this is how Connecticut rolls, but I loved the headline ‘that’s so Connecticut’, so I just had to do it to ’em. My apologies if you’re offended by that.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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