I’m a big fan of the always classic McDonald’s fight. It just seems like once the clock hits midnight on that place, some real magic occurs. And, we’ve all been there – look, there will be no judgment here. But, as an honest and credible journalist, it’s my job to break these sorts of things down for the masses.
And, by masses, I mean like….the 20 people who will actually read this.
Anyway, LFG.
Meanwhile at McDonald’s Drunk after midnight pic.twitter.com/ITNkd5sV1z
— Eagle Ai MMA Forever The wolf (@EagleAiMMAPain) August 13, 2019
I don’t know what homie was going for when he initiated contact here – just putting his hands up with his fingers all sprawled out. It didn’t make sense to me as a fight move…maybe as the start of a dance ensemble, that works. But, in this setting….just seemed like a weird move.
Luckily, it didn’t matter for him. Glasses over here doesn’t know how to throw a fucking punch. It’s like that dream where you’re trying to tell your body to do something and it just won’t do it. The guy can’t throw a punch and before you know it, he’s bent over taking a beating from spirit fingers.
Even worse than glasses, though, is glasses’ friend, who storms the gate but again – has no idea how to throw a punch.
I have to say, it is damn good to see a good old fashioned collar and elbow tie-up and a headlock in a shoot fight, though. Whether they’re aware of it or not, these drunk ass motherfuckers in a McDonald’s are helping to re-establish professional wrestling as a legitimate sport.
Chuckles (that’s what I’m naming Glasses’ friend) finally figures out to start swinging, but -PLOT TWIST- his arms are too short to connect! What a turn of events!
Then, he EATS the fuckin’ menu board. Rough night at the McDonald’s for our guy Chuckles.
The real MVP of this whole thing is homeboy just sitting at the table enjoying his burger:
I fucking love McDonald’s street fights.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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