It’s the final countdown folks! Thank you to everyone that followed along on this ridiculous adventure. I appreciate everyone reaching out on what they liked and disliked about the list. I hope you had some fun with this, because I certainly have. With that said, let’s get to the Final Five, and see who is the greatest of all time.
5. Rod Tidwell – WR – Jerry Maguire. 1,550 yards on 110 receptions. That’s the record that Rod Tidwell set for the Arizona Cardinals in 1995 for the movie Jerry Maguire. The aging and undersized wide receiver was looking for the big money contract he had earned. Tidwell certainly had the talent, but was seen as a problem child by the organization. With attitude shaped up, everyone saw the heart and fearlessness that Rod Tidwell embodied. Going over the middle for a pass? He was in. Taking a major hit to gain the first down? He wasn’t scared. On a Monday night against the Dallas Cowboys, Tidwell goes up for a reception that leads to a Cardinals touchdown. He lands awkwardly and is unconscious. BUT HE HELD ON TO THE BALL. A little post-recovery dancing endeared him to the fans and the world. Rod Tidwell was a superstar athlete, and the best WR in fictional football history. (No, I’m not going to say show me the money.)
4. Boobie Miles – RB – Friday Night Lights (Film). You want to win? Put Boobie in. Star running back of the Permian Panthers, Miles was a human highlight reel. He could do everything on a football field. He could block, tackle, score the touch down, snap the ball, and kick the extra point. He’d even fill up the Gatorade cooler, walk the dog, and paint your back porch all according to his uncle LV. The man could even throw the football! Deservedly, every major college in the country wanted Boobie Miles running the football for them. Unfortunately, Miles tore his ACL in the opening game of his senior season. After being checked out by doctors, Miles pretended his knee was fine and tried to continue playing…..with a torn ACL. Obviously, the ended poorly and his football career was over. Had Miles stayed healthy, the Permian Panthers would have likely won the Texas State Championship.
3. Willie Beamen – QB – Any Given Sunday. A former 3rd string quarterback, injuries to the first and second string caused Beamen to take the field for the Miami Sharks. In a losing effort, Beamen gained confidence in his ability to lead the Sharks to the post season. His raw athleticism called for an evolution to the offense that was being run. Highlighting his ability to change of the fly, Beamen changed the plays to focus more on his strengths as a mobile quarterback. His success went to his head, but he managed to mature and win the trust of his team while leading them to the championship game. Even though the Sharks came up short, Steamin’ Willie Beamen became the new model for athletic quarterbacks in football, allowing him to become the franchise QB for new team.
2. Shane Falco – QB – The Replacements. Let’s get this part out of the way. That Sugar Bowl was a disaster. Five interceptions? I heard you could smell the stink all the way to Wales. But this is fictitious football, and second chances are a main component. When the Washington Sentinels went of strike, new head coach Jimmy McGinty sought out ”Footsteps” Falco as his replacement quarterback. Losing his nerve in the first game, Falco begins to gain confidence as his teammates begin to respect him as their leader. With an absolute cannon for an arm, Falco helps lead the team to two consecutive victories, needing only one more for the playoffs. After being ousted in favor of the original starting QB, Falco shows up at halftime to take the reins. Claiming that he can beat Dallas with his replacement players, Falco takes the field down 17-0. You have to love a play that sets the tone, especially when it’s called “kick their ass on 1.” With his team believing in their QB, Falco rallied them to a last second play for a chance to go to the playoffs. Winners always want the ball when the game is on the line, and Falco fired a long touchdown pass to TE Brian Murphy for the win. For his toughness, leadership, laser rocket arm, and miles of heart, Shane Falco tops our QB list.
1. Bobby Boucher – LB – The Waterboy. The heart and soul of the South Central Louisiana State Mud Dogs is easily the most dominant player on this list. Not gifted with natural athleticism, Boucher earned his aggression the old fashioned way: being raised in a swamp by a mother that lied to him about everything and being bullied by everyone he encountered. After spearing the bullying QB of the Mud Dogs, offensive guru Coach Klein teaches Boucher to harness his tackling fuel. Leading the team to a winning streak with his brutal tackling, Boucher has the Mud Dogs in the Bourbon Bowl on New Year’s Day. Boucher showing up at halftime of the bowl game gives the team a spark that ignites a major comeback. When the opposing coach attempted to neutralize the effects of Boucher by not running an offense, Boucher transitioned to other positions on offense and special teams to continue contributing. He became a lead blocker on a long touchdown run, helped cause a successful onside kick recovery, and even threw the winning touchdown pass. Boucher’s natural instincts and team-first attitude makes him the most complete player on this list. The Waterboy Bobby Boucher is easily the greatest of all time. No matter what it is, he can do it! (I’m not even sorry. I had to.)
Thank you all for following along on this ridiculous countdown. Feel free to drop in any comments on how you would rank these players. As always, Poppa Bear loves you. It’s almost football time folks.
Poppa Bear is the Lead SEC Analyst for the SoBros Network, and serves as our resident expert on the human anatomy, fixin’ stuff, and tomatoes. Follow on Twitter:@SoBroPoppaBear
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