I know we’re all gearing up for Spooky Season, but yesterday was a big time day for #TeamChristmas in Mount Juliet, Tennessee. The Tennessean reported that The Incredible Christmas Place, long time institution of the family vacation hub of Tennessee, Pigeon Forge (it says so on the signs welcoming you to the city).
The Incredible Christmas Place, a Pigeon Forge destination for more than 30 years, will open a second store in Mt. Juliet at a new development named Sellars Station.
I am most definitely #TeamThanksgiving, so I’m just completely ignored in all of the major holiday debates. I’m not like #TeamChristmas -OR- #TeamHalloween the way they all bicker back and forth on Twitter. I’m stuck in the middle – whether you’re #TeamChristmas or #TeamHalloween, it seems like almost everyone is #TeamFUCKTeamThanksgiving. That said, I have some really good friends on #TeamHalloween, and I just want all of them to know that even though we’re celebrating a big win for #TeamChristmas, I hope #TeamHalloween gets one soon. Maybe we’ll get one of those janky Spirit Halloween stores or whatever it’s called next year.
But, HOLY SHIT!!!! The Incredible Christmas Place is coming to town! I can’t wait. I’m going to be in there all the time. Might as well go ahead and set that bitch up to take 5% of each paycheck like a 401k, baby! It’s like Hobby Lobby, Yankee Candle, Joann Fabric, Homegoods, and now At Home. Put it in my Providence ME DAY rotation PUH-LEAAAAAASE.
Wait – am I the only dude in town who actually likes doing that stuff? Maybe venturing out to Old Time Pottery if I’m feeling a little adventurous. Yeah, that is probably just me.
Regardless, Nashville wasn’t legitimized as a vacation city until this announcement. Sorry, but those are cold hard facts. If you remember anything about Pigeon Forge, it’s Dollywood and then the Incredible Christmas Place. I haven’t read that in a scholastic journal, but I feel like it’s probably there somewhere. That’s hard research, folks.
I also love how all the curmudgeons in the Hip Mount Juliet group are complaining about ANOTHER STORE coming to Mount Juliet. Some even complained about the traffic! Move to the hills, you cowards. That’s what I say. You can ride or die with the fucking Incredible Christmas Place. I know where I stand.
My loyalty will not be questioned. I’m happy this place is opening up next summer and fuck you if you disagree.
As an aside, I was today years old when I realized it was ‘Incredible Christmas Place’ and not ‘Incredible Christmas Palace.’ This is like the Nolan Davis thing all over again.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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