Big news dropped yesterday as we’re already talking about damn New Year’s here in Nashville. Time flies, Itellyawhat. Anyway, looks like Keith Urban is going to be taking the stage for the big shindig that’s going down on NYE in the Music City.
Keith Urban will once again headline the New Year’s Eve celebration, marking his fourth year in a row doing so.
Alright, well y’all have fun.
From what I’ve heard, Keith Urban is a super nice guy, and I’m perfectly happy with him being a representative of our city. That’s a dude I can be proud of.
But, there…perdon my Franch…ain’t no way in hell I’m gettin’ down in all of that mess. I don’t care how cool dropping an illuminated guitar is compared to your standard issue disco ball.
I did New Year’s Eve in Nashville once…rang in 2015. My girlfriend (bless her heart, I will never let her hear the end of it. I’m always doing things like writing articles about how terrible that NYE was) is from New Jersey. It was something she wanted to experience….a “bucket list” item, if you will. So, I let her talk me into it.
It was miserable – it was so packed, there were people literally climbing the trees on 2nd Avenue to get a glimpse of that guitar. We got caught up in a fist fight because people were drunk and crowded. I saw homeboy start swingin’ and thought, “you gotta be fucking kidding me..we’re going to do this right here right now?” We weren’t free to move as we wished – instead, it was like trying to walk in a river, we just went wherever the current of the group went until we had an opportunity to get out. It was shoulder-to-shoulder with people, who mostly smelled like body odor. If you tried to turn and walk back towards Broadway, you were probably going to be swept under and trampled. It was a mess.
Then, we go to Rebar and quickly realize there’s no worse time to be downtown than late into NYE. The only people still going at that point are the ones who aren’t getting laid. And, those people are SUPER sad. There was a table of people who were just crying. Some young lady puked on the sidewalk and I can still smell it to this day.
And, the whole city smelled like piss…which isn’t that uncommon for downtown Nashville after midnight, but it doesn’t make it any more enjoyable.
I ain’t about that life, y’all.
So, good for Keith Urban – glad he’s having fun and all – but that there NYE is a holiday for the young single folk. While I can think of no better person to sing to all the people tryna fuuuuuuuck than Keith Urban, I will be enjoying NYE asleep.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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