Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into my weekly American football column, Tank the 401k. Here, I will divulge all my eagle-eyed opinions on the upcoming week. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. My lawyers say I shouldn’t claim to be an expert on anything)!
What a shit week, y’all. I just completely shit the bed. I was late getting around to Tank the 401k, and as a result, I just panic-picked games. That’s dumb af – probably the worst thing you can do. In reality, I probably would’ve just sat the weekend out. I always think that’s the trickiest week of the season – when we overreact to those early games.
But, oh well – that’s life as an American football bettor. Sometimes, you just have those moments.
There’s no way to make progress without leaving those kinda weekends in the past and just picking yourself up by your buttstraps or whatever those things are called. So, let’s just say “fuck it,” and move on.
BIG NATURAL’S TANK THE 401K PICKS
NCAAF: Cal +2.5 @ Ole Miss – I know they are flying all the way across the country to play this game, but I am a firm believer in that Golden Bears defense.
NCAAF: Missouri -9.5 vs. South Carolina – The Kelly Bryant Machine is starting to fire on all cylinders. I like the Tigers big at home, mainly because I think South Carolina sucks. We could be seeing the undoing of Will Muschamp in Columbia.
NFL: Baltimore Ravens @ Kansas City, OVER 52.5 – Man, are y’all serious? They coulda set the O/U at 100 and I’d still take the over. This one’s going to be fun to watch.
NFL: San Francisco 49ers -6.5 vs. Pittsburgh Steelers – The Steelers were struggling BEFORE Ben Roethlisberger went down for the season. And, would you believe the 49ers are THIRD in the NFL in PPG this season? Their defense is also a top 10 unit so far. I’m expecting a big win over a Steelers team that’s still licking its wounds.
NFL: Los Angeles Rams -3 @ Cleveland Browns – Y’all puttin’ an awful lot of stock into that win over the New York Jets, huh? I mean, I don’t know what that game showed y’all to put this spread at -3. The Rams may win by two touchdowns – I’m willing to say I could’ve been wrong about them taking a step back. They looked as good as the team that went to the Super Bowl against the Saints.
W-L Record: (1-1)
Last Week: (2-3)
On the Season: (6-4-0) – 60%
Check out my full SEC/NFL game picks here (I’m 43-13 so far on the season in picks straight up):
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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