Gotta love when the good ol’ days come back to you in GIF form when you’re scrolling through the Twitter gimmick (shout out to Steve for RTing this and blessing my life with it). Today, I’m going to be writing about the dreaded heart punch, as made famous by Crush.
#LostMoveAlert pic.twitter.com/fwA7w33iAN
— GrappleClips (@GrappleClips) October 30, 2019
Killer sell. My God, you are right about that Steve.
I didn’t understand a lot about how the world worked back in those days. I mean, I was like…six or seven years old. I was one of the roughly dozen kids on the planet who was into babyface Kona Crush. Seeing a transformation such as his was scarring to a young Stoney. How the FUCK could you just go and align yourself with Mr. Fuji? Did Doink the Clown mess you up that bad psychologically?
It conditioned me to think that total and drastic shifts in personality were a perfectly normal part of life. Death, taxes, and your best friend always being a threat to turn on you.
If I made a new friend on the playground, I was constantly worried about said new friend undergoing a complete personality change at a moment’s notice and throwing me through a barber shop window.
Wrestling made me think heel turns were real life, man.
So, now that you know that about me, it’s going to make perfectly good sense to you when I say that I was scared to fucking death of the heart punch.
I thought that shit was real. That this big motherfucker could punch you in the chest so hard you would literally DIE. I can distinctly remember being a kid and closing my eyes when Crush lined this shit up. I’d whimper…..“he’s about to kill this man.” I couldn’t watch it.
And, hey – maybe that’s a credit to some of the underrated sellers of the day like homeboy in this clip.
I guess it never occurred to me that somebody somewhere wouldn’t allow Crush to go out there three nights a week and end someone’s life. Like…I don’t know…maybe THE POLICE. There’s video footage of this guy killing a different dude every other night and the police are just cool with it, ’cause hey – this is a sanctioned sport, right?! MUST BE COOL.
Now, I realize what an idiot kid Stoney was. Playing with his stupid action figures. Probably had a mullet. Sitting there thinking the Undertaker was a shoot zombie, Papa Shango had mystical powers, and the WWF aired actual murders on live television. SMDH.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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