I am a HUGE nerd when it comes to the business side of the website. I mean, yeah – I love producing content and working on some of my more humorous stuff really gets the creative juices flowing. But, I also get pretty excited to talk about things like SEO, keywords, and stuff like that, too. I spend way more time than I’d care to admit digging into Google Analytics, Facebook Insights, and Twitter Analytics. But, it’s a big part of growth and understanding how all of that stuff works is a huge resource for what we do. I won’t pretend to be an expert on reporting, but I love to learn, and I’m always happy to share this passion with those of you who are trying to create and spread your brand. Hit me up sometime.
I’m straying from the point of this post, but always want to put myself out there as a resource for our readers. Nonetheless, there’s a section of Google Analytics that shows you which keywords people are typing into search engines to find your website. For the most part, it’s a list 4,000 deep, in our case, of mostly innocuous terms – there’s a ton of movie reviews – stuff like “the meg review” and “tom hardy characters.” There’s a lot of indie wrestling stuff too because there aren’t too many websites out there covering the indies that actually have good SEO and show up on Google.
We also have about a million different ways to spell ‘Paul Heggen’ in our organic keywords. Everything from ‘paul hegan’ to ‘paul hagan’ – it’s ridiculous.
But, with that in mind, we write a lot of weird shit. So, it stands to reason that if you write weird shit, people are going to have to search weird shit to find it. I always share this stuff with the SoBros team, but I think it’s time I open it up to the rest of you because this is highly entertaining. We’re going to look at some of the weirdest and funniest keywords that people have typed into search engines that led them to SoBros Network.
OUR TOP 25 KEYWORDS OF 2019
25. “3D Doritos” – hell yeah! Who remembers 3D Doritos? That shit was F I R E.
24. “Nashville hookers” – It’s back. Horny people looking for prostitutes in Nashville has basically help up our search traffic for 2019.
23. “Baker Mayfield cock” – How disappointed are you going to be if you’re trying to find pictures of the Cleveland Browns quarterback’s crank and you end up on SoBros Network?
22. “hot damn toe jam chicken shit andfried ham” – Is this from a song or something? What does this even mean?
21. “AB fart on doctor” – Who says we aren’t a source of important breaking news?
20. “artificial penis in bangladesh” – Yep. That’s on the site somewhere.
19. ” badass goat portrait ” – Hell yeah, who wouldn’t want to see a badass portrait of a goat? Of course people are searching that.
18. “bring back opryland” – You’re damn right.
17. ” dennis rodman cigar arm “ – Seriously, that shit was freaky.
16. ” history of the Gladeville Community in Tennessee “ – Oh, God – we’re not responsible enough journalists to handle this kind of responsibility…
15. ” lendale white bra “ – What the fuck, y’all? Don’t be doin’ LenDale like that.
14. ” Lio Rush Naked With A Penis “ – Why are so many people looking for dicks ending up on our site?
13. “long term impacts of First Scottish War of Independence” – You really can find anything on this website.
12. “midnight city sobros” – WAIT, WHAT?! Someone was actually searching for our cover of “Midnight City” on Google?!?! Hell yes. Thank you. That warms my heart.
11. ” mosh pit in dennys” – What the fuck is up, Denny’s?!?!
10. “nigerian bulletproof spell” – We are a source of news on the dark arts, so of course this makes sense.
9. “racoons riding feral hogs” – Yep, that’s definitely on the site somewhere, too.
8. ” roman ringe ” – Who?
7. ” running with oreos in butt “ – Some people just have to know.
6. “so obvious when I’m freeballing in my sweats” – I honestly don’t understand some of these but I’m not surprised in the least bit.
5. ” stupid for alligators to be aprotected species in tennessee where they are not native to the area” – This sounds like someone is trying to make a statement and not searching for answers.
4. “titans dumb fire mularkey” – Did a caveman type this?
3. ” ugly ass cats ” – All cats are beautiful cats.
2. “what can we do to make the sunchips better? ” – Sounds like someone at Sun Chips is really stressed about their job.
1. ” ric flair butt fucking bastard scott steiner ” – This is it. This is the one. Nothing’s going to top this one.
If you wanna check back to 2018’s list, click here. Happy holidays, folks.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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