I guess we’ve arrived at the point in human evolution when we’re embedding keys into our hands to get into shit. We’ve seen this idea floating around in science fiction for awhile, but now, it’s a reality because of this one dude who be stayin’ puttin’ stuff in his hand.
Ben Workman is all about the experimental lifestyle. Local Fox affiliate Fox 13 reported Sunday that Workman went through all the trouble of implanting the RFID chip from his Tesla Model 3‘s key card into the back of his hand.
Now, all he needs to do is press his hand against the Model 3’s door pillar and boom — he’s in.
Well, people on the black market organ exchange are certainly thrilled about this. So are cat burglars who happen to share an affinity for chopping off hands. Right off the top of my head, that’s one thing wrong with this idea. How long before some hare-brained criminal decides he’s going to get that Tesla and Ben’s hand with it?
See, I’m a big picture guy…always thinkin’ beyond the surface. What do the criminals actually do with the hands once they’ve chopped them off? Do they just carry ’em around in their satchels? Can you put a human hand on a key ring with your other keys? This could not only be a nuisance for the people whose hands are being chopped off, but for the thieves as well. In this day and age, you can steal someone’s car keys and no one’s really going to bat an eye. At least, they’re not going to look down and just assume those keys don’t belong on your key ring. But, if you have a human hand in your pocket, that’s probably going to draw some unwanted attention.
Maybe that’s what the people who are embedding keys into their hands are betting on. That maybe the criminals will think this one through and be like, “nah, I don’t want that Tesla bad enough to carry around a human hand with me whenever I need to just go to the grocery store.”
These are the real world discussions we need to be having as we head closer towards the singularity.
The cnet story also mentions that this dude has a magnet embedded in his hand, too. “For party tricks” – okay, that’s good enough reason to sew a damn foreign object into your hand, I guess. And, as far as party tricks go, magnet tricks have to be among the worst. Not to mention, every time you walk by the fridge, your hand is going to smack against it. You’re going to be wrestling your hand away from appliances all the damn time.
Someone needs to have a chat with ol’ Benny boy here – if he’s going to be the one leading the way into the future, then we need to get him to step his game up.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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Image courtesy of Mat Reding on Unsplash!
