Ever since the wave of White Claw crashed down upon the shores of society, folks have been debating the merits of each flavor with kith and kin. It’s a matter of taste, friends. We all have a stance is this debate…perhaps the greatest debate of our generation. I’m here to provide answers. That’s what honest scholarly journalists like myself do when the going gets tough. I put on my mud boots, throw on some gloves, roll up my sleeves, and I get to work.
Today, I’m going to face the masses and let you all know exactly where I stand when it comes to the flavors of the greatest hard seltzer in all of the land.
White Claw Power Rankings
1. Raspberry – Call me crazy, but nothing hits quite like the Raspberry White Claw. Also, it mixes very well with gin on nights that you would prefer to black out and not remember a thing. With the debate largely centering around Mango vs. Black Cherry, I find that Raspberry is often overlooked. Not on SoBros Network, folks. I simply will not let that stand on this fine institution of scholared journalism.
2. Watermelon – I am all in on the Watermelon flavor being the wave of the future for this brand. It could undoubtedly be the flavor of the summer….assuming we actually get to have a summer. If not, maybe we should shoot for summer of 2021. I understand the watermelon flavor is a very polarizing one. People either love watermelon everything or they hate watermelon everything. But, I have to say – this is a subtle watermelon flavor. I don’t think it would overwhelm any palate.
3. Mango – I would lose all the credibility I have as a journalist if Mango fell any further than the #3 spot. It’s a foundational piece of the White Claw brand. Maybe it’s your favorite. Maybe it’s not. But, I feel strongly that it’s the one flavor we can all agree belongs among the elite in this franchise.
4. Black Cherry – It’s one of the real heavyweights of the White Claw brand. A lot of people place Black Cherry in the top spot, but for me, it’s just not explosive enough. It doesn’t pop in my mouth the way Raspberry does. That said, it is absolutely on the Mount Rushmore of hard seltzers.
5. Grapefruit – Ever heard of a magic elixir known as Fresca? That’s exactly what you’re going to get with Grapefruit. Of all seven of these flavors, I’d say Grapefruit is definitely the most underrated. Take me back to the days when all it took was an ice cold Fresca to make all of my worries disappear.
6. Tangerine – *3/26/20 UPDATE* I can’t believe I forgot about Tangerine. By default, that probably means it should be the last spot, right? I completely forgot it even existed altogether. But, I do enjoy it more than Lemon and Lime.
7. Lemon – Is the flavor a bit unoriginal? Sure. I’ve heard it compared to Sprite, and I don’t think that’s too terribly far off. But, what it lacks in originality, it makes up for in refreshment. It’s so refreshing that I might replace Gatorade with it for after my workouts.
8. Lime – Lime is often cast out as the black sheep of the hard seltzer family. It’s plain. Unoriginal. Boring. Hateful terms such as these have no place being used to describe ANY of the flavors of this restorative nectar. I won’t tolerate. Just because it’s last, doesn’t mean it’s not good.
The top four, I can drink at any time and end up with an explosion of fun in my mouth. I’m ecstatic to get my hands on ’em, and get my lips around ’em. The other three are still viable refreshment options. I’m happy to take one for the team if this is all that’s available. Even though one flavor has to be last, it doesn’t mean that it’s bad. That’s one thing this brand has built its reputation on. There isn’t a bad flavor in the entire portfolio.
Let’s encourage healthy debate here – what is your favorite White Claw flavor? Please let us know.
Editor’s Note: Yes, this is just a picture of some random White Claws in my fridge. I cannot be sued for pictures I took myself. Thank you for your understanding.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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