Okay, guys – full disclosure here. I have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about. I have my own ‘workouts from home’ that I do, but that hardly makes me an expert. Please don’t be mad at me, but clicks have been down the last couple of weeks, and I am absolutely DESPERATE for pageviews. Don’t forget – I’ve written some clickbait before. Times get tough sometimes, and I have to pull this old tool out of the toolbox. In case you need a refresher, here’s my reason why:
Clickbait works – it just flat out does. Or else people wouldn’t do it, right? I mean, developing a strong aversion for it is a learned skill in this day and age. But, we’ve always said we don’t want to be that kind of web site. We just want to write good shit and we want to make people laugh. But, desperate times call for desperate measures. It’s become clear to me that we will never amount to anything in life unless we start writing clickbait. So, here I am. Clickbaiting away. Clickbait, clickbait, clickbait.
Alright, LFG.
Amazing Workouts From Home
5. Pushups – You don’t need anything but your own two arms to do some pushups. Pushups are the exercise that you can literally take anywhere. Of course, that’s assuming that you have two arms.
4. Lift things– The average person probably doesn’t have a lot of free weights just lying around. But, I’d be willing to bet that as long as the average person lives in a house, the average person probably has a lot of things. Things are great because they vary in weight so you can tailor your workout to your strength. If you’re puny, you can just curl some picture frames. If you’re a big strong boi, you can pick up the fridge.
3. Situps – Look. You’re probably looking for workouts from home because, like me, you have a gross ass stomach. Well, there’s only one real way to tone up that tummy and that is to do as many crunches and situps as you can. Think about it – which muscles do you work out when you do situps? Tummy. What better way to lower the fat on your tummy than by exercising it?
2. Squats – The only reason I have squats ranked higher than situps is because they play a crucial role in all of this. You’re going to be constipated from doing so many crunches, so it is absolutely imperative that you get the squats in so you can knock that doo doo loose.
1. Masturbate relentlessly – you just gotta do something to constantly keep your heart rate up that also works your arm. I don’t know – this is just the first thing that came to mind. I’m grasping straws here guys…maybe I don’t know how to write good clickbait after all.
Welp, that’s it. In true clickbait nature, I don’t give a flying fuck if you read this article. I put no effort into it. I hope you just simply clicked the link. Google is probably going to dock me SEO points for writing this trash ass content, but in my opinion, “worth it.” I think I’ve done well by the true spirit of clickbait here today.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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