For those of you who are unaware, I unexpectedly caught myself in an online Twitter war on Sunday night. Who was I exchanging grenades with? A bunch of Katy Perry Twitter soldiers. Funny? Yes. Serious? Also, Yes.
I turned on American Idol Sunday night. It was the first time they were hosting the rounds from people’s houses. I turned it on and five minutes in, I see Katy Perry dressed like a big bottle of hand sanitizer. For some reason, it angered me. Katy is known for wearing ridiculous outfits on the show, and I usually just say, “that’s a desperate cry for attention” and continue watching. This time, I happened to just be so annoyed that she was taking away from contestants, that I actually turned it off.
At this point, I made what I thought was a harmless tweet (since deleted – I’ll explain later). It said something along the lines of “I just turned off American Idol because Katy Perry is dressed like a bottle of hand sanitizer and is taking away from the talent of the contestants.” Harmless? I thought so. Well, Stan was WRONG.
I put my phone down and all of a sudden, the war sirens started going off, planes flying overhead, bombs exploding in the distance. In a coordinated attack, the Katy Perry soldiers were armed to the gills and at my Twitter front door.
The first comment started with a “Shut the F*ck Up.” She then proceeded to throw Twitter grenades into the comments, which restarted my phone like 800 times. I am not saying it was a virus, but it was a virus. These Twitter grenades seem to be the weapon of choice for the Katy Perry soldiers. It was liked, and then sent multiple times from other members of the Katy Perry Army. DM’s, comments, you name it. Your boy was in the trenches!
I had to end up deleting the comment because the virus/grenades utilized by this pack of ruthless Twitter warriors caused my Twitter to just keep restarting. I ended up restarting my phone like 8x until I was able to delete the comment and get Twitter functional again. After those grenades came a hail storm of organized responses. Every single one of them had the same exact comment. It is like the Queen Bee passes a message to all these Twitter soldiers to respond with the exact same thing. It happened to be “Katy Perry actually stated today on her facebook live that America Idol crew and team made her get in that box to cover up her belly bump. Pls don’t blame her as this is American idols Idea.” I am talking this tweet is out there in the hundreds.
Any sensible person knows that ABC would NEVER be able to force her to cover her bump. So, Stan did not lay down his Twitter shield. I pressed them on the issue.
How could this be? Don’t you think there would be a lawsuit? Please send me a link to the facebook live where she states this? This was the first point in the fight when I believed I had pierced the armor of these lunatics. There was no coordinated response from the “queen bee.” They did not know how to respond.
What ended up happening? One of the soldiers just started going after this other guy who happened to jump into the Twitter trenches with me. He happened to be a very outspoken “Pro-Trump” guy. She saw this as her opportunity to attack him. It started going back and forth, and this is when I decided to bow out of the battle.
Needless to say, if you are not willing to fight a Twitter war, I do not recommend making comments about Katy Perry. I woke up to a couple more viruses, which was a great way to start the day.
Stan is the Chief of Debauchery for SoBros Network. A native of the Northeast, he is a diehard fan of the New York Yankees, but no, he does not wear a big gold chain and backwards hat. Nor does he drink Heinekens. Follow on Twitter: @sobrostan.
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