When Robert Pattinson was announced as the next actor that would tackle the Batman character, I groaned. I just couldn’t see the vision for it. Maybe it’s just the blinders I have on as I go through life – I mean, I do have a tendency to listen to the same music and watch the same movies over and over and over. I’m man enough to admit it – I wrote Pattinson off after Twilight and Remember Me. Just not my cup of tea, and I was too young and dumb to separate what I considered ‘bad movie’ from ‘bad actor.’
Folks, I am proud to say that I have matured as a man to the point that I’m willing to walk back that initial Batman take. It’s stupid to hold on to such uninformed ideas. That would be like saying Peyton Manning is a bad quarterback in 2020, and when someone asks what the fuck I’m smoking, saying, “well, I haven’t watched him since the Steelers upset the Colts in the playoffs after the 2005 season.” Just makes me look like a real fuck, y’know?
So, after reading John Mosley’s write-up on Good Time, I decided it was time to bury the hatchet, enlighten myself, and catch up on some Pattinson flicks. Here’s what I watched:
The Lighthouse – Instantly became one of my all time favorite movies. I have already added it to the list of movies I have to watch every single spooky season despite my girlfriend saying she doesn’t think she could ever sit through it again.
I felt trapped in The Lighthouse…as if I had sit on the couch and pressed play only to be locked into a never-ending fever dream of madness. It brought back all of the nostalgia of The Twilight Zone with an uncomfortable story that reminds us of the power that the mind has over the body. It’s also a cautionary tale about the danger of seeking out that which we cannot comprehend. In other words, “don’t ask questions that you don’t want the answer to.” I feel like I could go on and on about a million little things from the movie that spoke to me – and maybe that’s an indictment of my own mental health. Pattinson and Willem Dafoe delivered jarring and unsettling performances, but specifically disturbing was the performance of Dafoe’s ass.
Good Time – What a stressful thrill ride. People jumped all over Uncut Gems, but I’m not gonna lie, this is the Safdie Brothers flick for me. I don’t feel like I’ve ever watched two movies in a weekend and thought they were instantly two my all-time faves in my entire life before. Also, true story – I cried at the end of the movie…the “cross the room if you’ve ever….” part. Maybe it was the entire bottle of peach wine I drank as I was watching it
High Life – I’m probably never going to hear the end of picking this one on date night, but we had important work to do here. I was live-tweeting about The Lighthouse and Good Time, and our resident film critic, Brandon Vick, chimed in with, “watch High Life next!” So, guess what – I did….and it, too, was fucking awesome. Did it make me feel depressed? Sure, but I like to feel depressed every once in awhile if a story can produce that kind of affect on me. Plus, I don’t feel too bad for my girlfriend since I repeatedly stated before and DURING the movie that I didn’t think it was going to be a very feel-good movie. Once someone’s head ‘sploded, we were in it for the long haul.
Now, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to Robert Pattinson. The man is a tremendous actor, and now, if I see he’s in a movie, I am precisely one hundred times more likely to go and see it. I can’t wait to see him take on the mantle of Batman.
Folks, if I can grow, we all can grow. As a result of this personal growth, I would like to officially announce that I will now be watching nothing but Robert Pattinson movies exclusively. Thank you for your encouragement, and of course, a big time thank you to Robert Pattinson for making this happen.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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