Inside SoBros HQ: A Deeper Look at This Stain (Patrons Only)

Stoney offers another glimpse into SoBros HQ on the latest Patreon exclusive.

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Y’all might’ve noticed yesterday that I fired off this nice little photo of “The General” John Mosley writing on absolutely nothing (he was trying to look cool and studious) on the Checks and Championships account: 

It just felt good to be back in the studio for the first time in something like nine weeks. We were tossing back some Truly lemonades…picked up some burgers from the ML Rose food truck….enjoyed a good smoke out in the brisk spring air….talked about all of our plans for the future and all of our hopes and dreams and things of that nature. It felt good to be back in the swing of things. 

Plus, I’m trying to gauge the value of the brand. Wanted to fire off that photo of the Tropical Bros flag because I’ve been working with them to promote their merch for summer time. It’s a free deal, kind of – they sent us a box of…like…$500 worth of merch…we talk about it. It’s that simple. I’m doing it to see what kind of engagement we can pull on something like that so that I better understand what we could charge potential clients down the road. Building a portfolio of “trial clients,” if you will. 

But, some eagle-eyed followers might’ve noticed a giant stain on the wall, and it immediately caught my eye: 

So, here’s the story…

No, that is not a massive deluge of cum on the logs. That is candle wax, and it has been on the wall in that room since 2003. I haven’t thought about this story in a long time, but it’s so stupid. 

I’ve told you guys before about how my house growing up was the hangout spot…that room in that photo is my old bedroom, and it has its own door in and out of the house. So, we could get away with just about anything in that room (seriously, if you ever find yourself out there, do NOT walk on that carpet without wearing shoes). 

We used to have fucking full blown backyard wrestling shows in that room. 

There used to be a chest of drawers near that stain. I’ve also told you guys about my love for candles – even back then, it was within me. For some reason, I would burn candles during the old backyard wrestling shows. I was just paranoid about the house smelling bad (we had dogs and cats when I was growing up – I’m still paranoid about this). 

Sure enough, at one show, someone takes a punch and stumbles back into the chest of drawers. The candle goes flying against the wall along with everything else on that dresser, and the rest is history. 

The thing is….it dried so quickly that we couldn’t get it off the wall. After it hardened, I tried a number of different ways to get it off the wall. Finally, I settled on moving the dresser over in front of the stain so maybe my parents wouldn’t see it. It worked! 

Even after I rearranged my room and exposed the stain, they never noticed. I’m going to have to bring it up to my mom now. Part of me is curious as to why she never said anything about it. Surely she noticed it at some point over the last SEVENTEEN YEARS! But, maybe not….unlike a lot of mysteries I write about, this one can actually be solved. 

So, what is the moral of the story here? Don’t burn candles at wrestling shows, and whatever you do, don’t let melted candle wax get on anything or it ain’t comin’ out, folks. 

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.

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